Showing posts with label LGBTQ. Show all posts
Showing posts with label LGBTQ. Show all posts

Monday, February 24, 2020

Calypso by David Sedaris


Source of book: Borrowed from the Library

This was this month’s selection for our “Literary Lush” book club. One of the things I enjoy about this club is that I end up reading interesting books that I never would have discovered on my own. Although I was at least aware of David Sedaris, I had never read anything of his, and likely would not have picked up one of his books on my own. We had a great discussion about this book, I must say, as Sedaris writes thoughtfully on the complexities of family, mental illness, and life.

Sedaris’ books are officially classified as non-fiction - and they are largely autobiographical in nature. However, he does take some artistic and comedic license with things - he is a comedian and entertainer, not a historian. That said, as we lawyers are all too aware, memories are tricky things, and two participants in a conversation will often remember them differently. Since many of the stories involve conversations within the family, it would not surprise me at all if Sedaris’ accounts are roughly as “factual” as the average memory. 

The Sedaris family sounds rather...interesting. David was one of six siblings in a close(ish) Greek-American family. He and his siblings and his father still get together regularly, and stay in the same house for a week or two at a time. Honestly, there is no way in hell that happens ever again in my own family. (It’s a long story, but there are definitely broken relationships there.) The Sedarises are quirky, to say the least. Very quirky. And David is probably the craziest. (At least, since his humor is self-deprecating, he portrays himself as the craziest. And he may be right.) 

Calypso is in many ways, David’s attempt to deal with his sister Tiffany’s suicide. And also with his aging and increasingly non-functional father. These themes run through the book, and keep coming up as Sedaris tells his stories. The book shows a bit of a darker side to the family. His mother became increasingly alcoholic after the kids moved out, and her ability to hold the family together failed. When she died of cancer in her 60s, Sedaris’ dad descended deeper into his hoarding tendencies. But, the family still continued to get together as best they could. 

The book opens with a description of some of the trips the family took to the Outer Banks, followed by David’s decision to purchase an island home. All of these homes have cutesy names, so Sedaris and his siblings decide their house needs one too. The name they settle on, “Sea Section,” is, believe it or not, the least inappropriate of the options they consider. Dad is mortified. 

Although there are themes running through the stories, they are not truly connected in plot. They were mostly published elsewhere first - Sedaris writes regularly for The New Yorker and occasionally for other magazines and websites. The locations vary from rural England, where Sedaris lives with his partner, Hugh, to Japan, to various places in the United States where David puts on his show and sells his books. 

The England episodes are pretty funny. David is a bit OCD, and ends up a slave to his FitBit. This in turn leads to increasingly long walks where he picks up garbage. (And comments on how commonly he finds KFC and condoms…) Eventually, he has a garbage truck named after him. That’s not fiction or artistic license, by the way. That’s completely true. 

Also hilarious is the time he and his siblings shop at this ludicrously expensive and completely impractical clothing store in Tokyo. Among other things, David ends up buying a smock and culottes. 


Sedaris with one of his several (!) pairs of culottes.



The stories are often amusing, but also bittersweet. David and his siblings are still processing the suicide of a mentally ill sibling, and the descent of their father into right-wing nuttiness. (They forbid all radio and TV at the beach house, and dad nearly drives them crazy looking for his Fox News and Talk Radio fix.) 

There were some specific passages which stood out. One involved politics. David was born in New York, but when he was kid, the family moved to North Carolina, which was, shall we say, a rather different culture. (Because of the age differences of the kids, David doesn’t speak with a southern accent, but his younger siblings very much do.) Apparently, the Sedaris parents were out at a restaurant or bar when the news came that Martin Luther King Jr. had been assassinated. And the other patrons stood and clapped. The Sedaris parents were left wondering where they had moved to… It is thus ironic that David’s dad would later go down the racist rabbit hole of Tucker Carlson and Rush Limbaugh.   

I also liked Sedaris’ description of his experience being a short man. (He’s 5’5”, apparently, a bit shorter than I am.) 

I know that straight me sometimes have it hard when it comes to finding a girlfriend, but I thought that for people like myself - “pocket gays,” we’re sometimes called - it was no hindrance. In retrospect, I guess I wasn’t paying much attention. The Washington Post has a regular feature in which they send two people out on a date and then check in to see how it went. Recently the couple was gay. Both stood more than six feet and listed in their “Deal-Breakers” box “short men.” They did not, I noticed, exclude white supremacists or machine gun owners.

Yeah, that is a bit disturbing. I would certainly consider white supremacy to be a deal breaker were I on the dating market. 

Rather amusing was the section on crazy diets. 

As I grow older, I find that the people I know become crazy in one of two ways. The first is animal crazy - more specifically, dog crazy. They’re the ones who, when asked if they have children, are likely to answer, “A black Lab and a sheltie-beagle mix named Tuckahoe.” Then they add - they always add - “They were rescues!”
The second way people go crazy is with their diet. My brother, Paul, for instance, has all but given up solid food, and at age forty-six eats much the way he did when he was nine months old. 

I think Sedaris nails it with that one. Obviously, I know people who make dietary changes due to illness or other legitimate medical reasons. But there is definitely a kind of “mid-life crisis” that involves an obsession with diet - an increasingly restrictive diet. 

Sedaris also scores a nice one with this description of Bible Belt passive-aggressiveness. 

Increasingly at Southern airports, instead of a “good-bye” or “thank-you,” cashiers are apt to say, “Have a blessed day.” This can make you feel like you’ve been sprayed against your will with God cologne. “Get it off me!” I always want to scream. “Quick, before I start wearing ties with short-sleeved shirts!”

I know, not everyone who says “have a blessed day” is intending to give a little religious middle finger to others. But that is the meaning of the saying, and why it originated. And the Southern Baptist deacon look is...accurate. 

Sedaris also hits on a pet peeve of mine, particularly when travelling through the [ahem] white and rural areas of our country. 

More often than not, your breakfast room will have a TV in it, tuned to a twenty-four-hour cable-news network. Sometimes, you see two TVs or more. At a place I stayed at in Kentucky one year, there were eight. After I ordered, the waitress went around with her remote and activated each one, making me think of a lamplighter, if lamps were instruments of torture rather than things that make it easier for you to see how old and tired-looking you’ve gotten. “People like it,” she said when I asked her if it was really necessary at six o’clock in the morning. 
You hear this a lot in America, especially when you’re complaining about televisions, or loud music, or, more common still, television and loud music together in the same room. “People like it.”
“Yes,” I always want to say, “but they’re the wrong people.” 

Preach it, David! While you are at it, how about mentioning the people who cannot seem to hike or sit on the beach or chill around the campfire without blaring some loud music. 

Quite fascinating was the chapter on how David came out as gay. Here are some excerpts. 

When my mother called me a queer, my face turned scarlet and I exploded. “Me? What are you talking about? Why would you even say a thing like that?”
Then I ran down to my room, which was spotless, everything just so, the Gustav Klimt posters on the walls, the cornflower-blue vase I’d bought with the money I earned babysitting. The veil had been lifted, and now I saw this for what it was: the lair of a blatant homosexual.
That would have been as good a time as any to say, “Yes, you’re right. Get me some help.” But I was still hoping that it might be a phase, that I’d wake up the next day and be normal. In the best of times, it seemed like such a short leap. I did fantasize about having a girlfriend - never the sex part, but the rest of it I had down. I knew what she’d look like and how she’d hold her long hair back from the flame when bending over a lit candle. I imagined us getting married the summer after I graduated from college, and then I imagined her drowning off the coast of North Carolina during one of my family’s vacations. Everyone needed to be there so they could see just how devastated I was. I could actually make myself cry picturing it: How I’d carry her out of the water, how my feet would sink into the sand owing to the extra weight. I’d try mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, and keep trying until someone, my father most often, would pull me back, saying, “It’s too late, son. Can’t you see she’s gone?”
It seemed I wanted to marry just so I could be a widower. So profound would be my grief that I’d never look at another woman again. 

Not only is this hilarious, but it is a pretty good explanation for why telling gay folks to just suck it up and have a heterosexual marriage is not merely ludicrous, but profoundly damaging. I mean, David Sedaris seems pretty harmless, but I can’t imagine knowing your spouse fantasized about your death so he could eliminate the pressure to be heterosexual. Later, David puts his finger on a key dynamic. I think a lot of people, particularly of my parents’ generation and older, just wish they didn’t have to deal with the fact that LGBTQ people exist in our world. 

“I just don’t see why you have to rub everyone’s noses in it,” certain people would complain when I told them. Not that I wore it on T-shirts or anything. Rather, I’d just say “boyfriend” the way they said “wife” or “girlfriend” or “better half.” I insisted that it was no different, and in time, at least in the circles I ran in, it became no different. 

Times are definitely changing, though. My kids talk about same sex relationships, transgender people, non-binary people, and so on, with a natural ease that I have never known. It turns out that the “confusion” that we were warned would come about if our children saw gay or transgender people was really this: the kids would have no confusion at all, but the old folks would continue to lose their shit. And us Gen Xers kind of experience the whiplash of going between our parents’ and kids’ generations and having to code switch. A lot. 

There is another interesting episode in England that I want to mention. Sedaris befriends this fox, kind of going against a lot of his neighbors who consider them pests. He describes this interview on the subject thus:

“I know how much people love to save wildlife, but how would you feel if a fox killed your chickens or turkey?” someone named Pat Stokes asked. 
To this a man responded, “My chickens are cunts.”
I don’t know if this made him pro-fox or if he was just stating the facts. 

I definitely am on the “just stating the facts” side. Chickens are assholes. All of them. Every last one. They are horrid to each other, and as soon as the alpha gets made into soup, the next biggest chicken terrorizes the rest. I don’t like killing, and I could see feeling bad about eating other delicious animals. But I have never ONCE felt guilty for eating a chicken. Nasty, cruel, mean buggers, the whole lot. 

Speaking of assholes, I really felt with Sedaris the disorientation of the election of Trump, and the way that so many of my friends and family supported him - and his most evil, toxic policies. This exchange kind of sums it up: 

I join my family on Emerald Isle for Thanksgiving and have a great screaming fight with my Republican father, who yells at one point, “Donald Trump is not an asshole!” I find this funny, but at the same time surprising. Regardless of whether you voted for him, I thought the president-elect’s identity as a despicable human being was something we could all agree on. I mean, he pretty much ran on it. 

Exactly. I have heard this whole “Trump isn’t racist” bullshit from so many. But, he pretty much ran on it! That was always the whole point. That was his platform, those are his policies, and that’s who he is. And yes, if you support his racist policies, you are a racist. Own it. Just don’t try to claim that it is compatible with following Christ, because it isn’t. 

One of our book club members saw David Sedaris live a few years back, and she said he was hilarious. And also came hours before the show to talk and sign books - and stayed literally for hours afterward. If he comes this way again, I might have to go to a show. 

One final thought. One of the themes of our discussion of this book is how Sedaris walks a fine comedic line. On the one hand, he isn’t particularly politically correct (whatever that means these days), and he reveals some pretty personal stuff about his family. But, as one member pointed out, Sedaris is never mean. He isn’t cruel. He isn’t laughing at people or humiliating them. He does point out foibles - but he doesn’t make it personal. He does not wish to embarrass people, but humanize them. And a lot of his humor is self-deprecating. He is one of those comedians who doesn’t make you feel dirty for laughing along - or afterward. 

***

Just for fun, here is the list of books that our book club has read. At least the ones I have read too. Most of these were read for the club, but a few were ones I read previously - those posts pre-date the club discussion - and some I read afterward, because I missed the discussion. 




Monday, May 20, 2019

Salvation by Faith...in The Rules(TM)



Like many of us who have had a significant crisis of faith in the last few years - and are trying to find a way forward into a non-toxic version of belief rather than the reality-challenged, white nationalist, LGBTQ hating, Trump-worshipping cesspit that Evangelicalism has become, I am still reeling from and processing Rachel Held Evans’ sudden death. To those who haven’t shared the experience, it is hard to explain, and my attempts to do so have been rather fumbling. I may try to write about it later. I guess the best way to put it as a quick take is this: she was one of the very few who combined an Everyman (non-professionally-trained) background, a lifetime in the church, and a clarity and eloquence in pushing back at the self-appointed authorities and guardians of “Orthodoxy.” As someone who left the church over two years ago and hasn’t been back, her passing was a bit of a blow to the dream that someday, when the Baby Boomers no longer have a stranglehold on power, we might someday see a church that is a force for good and not evil. One which isn’t obsessed with the Culture Wars™, which are at the core about keeping minorities in their place (and promoting white patriarchal culture as “godliness”), policing what people do with their genitals and reproductive organs, and keeping women firmly in a subordinate place. Oh, and persecuting anyone outside the tribe. 

While it is certainly possible that others will rise up to replace RHE, I am not sure she truly can be replaced. And the result of that isn’t going to be some sort of a return to the cruelty of “orthodox” theology - it is going to be that many more are going to give up on religion entirely. My atheist friends will probably not mourn that - but most would likely agree that if we are going to have religion, everyone is better off if it is a force for good and not vicious cruelty.

A case in point here is that to the degree we have discussed their thoughts, my older kids largely associate Christianity with hate - particularly against minorities and LGBTQ people - and with Trump. And why wouldn’t they? And that is why they don’t consider religion an important part of their lives at this point. And I can’t blame them one iota - because their experience has been and continues to be very negative.

So yes, the loss of one of the truly decent remaining prominent Christians is a big loss.

***

I want to discuss something related to this, though. Something RHE’s death has clarified fully. And that is this:

Evangelicals don’t really believe in salvation by faith in Jesus Christ.

They believe in salvation by faith in The Rules™.

Here is how I know this:

In the aftermath of RHE’s death, a bunch of people who had argued with RHE - she challenged the misogynistic patriarchists who hoard the power in Evangelicalism - came out with statement which were, shall we say, less than gracious. These ran from “pretending to be gracious” to truly vicious and nasty, but I think they share a common thread - and that common thread is that they believe - or at least suspect, that RHE is burning in hell. Let me use a “do not link” to just a few of these.


The worst (or best perhaps) are the Pulpit and Pen ones - best because they are more honest about what the authors think. But the others are pretty bad too. Doug Wilson is incapable of being gracious rather than smarmy anyway, but his is only marginally better than Pulpit and Pen. For CT, they seem determined to get a final dig in at RHE - they don’t go so far as to be explicit that they think she is in hell, but they don’t want anyone to mistakenly believe that she was a “true” Christian, apparently. (The original has been removed - but the “explanation” is still problematic. Zack Hunt explains why (quoted from his facebook page):

“When we learned of her illness, we began seeking an essay that could balance two concerns—to properly honor her without pretending she didn’t have significant disagreements with important CT distinctives.”
Except here’s the thing....
You didn’t actually have to do that.
Jesus didn’t call us to be legalistic assholes so myopically obsessed with defending our version of orthodoxy that we think it’s even remotely ok to use a tragic death to score a few final points with our theological opponents.
If you didn’t agree with everything Rachel believed, fine.
But we all knew that already.
Thinking you need to use her death to reiterate your disagreement isn’t an oversight
It’s a pathological condition & one of many reasons so many want nothing to do with evangelicalism.
And just so we’re all on the same page, let’s be crystal clear about what those “distinctives” are that Christianity Today feels the need to use Rachel’s death to reiterate.
They think LGBT folks are going to hell.
And by “think” I mean they’re so obsessed with the marginalization and damnation of the LGBT community they’ll use a tragedy as an opportunity to cause more pain.
It’s not just sick.
It’s not just sinful.
It’s anti-Christ in the truest sense of the word.

As for the others, let me summarize: for Pulpit and Pen, it is clear that RHE is in hell. And is now discovering that God is in fact male (and definitely NOT in any way female) and that he will torture her for eternity because she didn’t believe every point of Patriarchal doctrine. For Doug Wilson, trying to dance around his instinct to be an asshole to her in death as he was to her in life, essentially punts with “I hope Jesus found her in that coma and converted her.” It is pretty clear that he thinks she cannot have been a genuine believer - because she disagreed with his theology.

As Hunt notes above, there are specific doctrinal differences which are the problem here, and for (as I have experienced) most Evangelicals, these specific doctrines - not faith in Jesus Christ - is what determines your eternal destiny.

These are specifically:

LGBTQ people are going to hell (corollary: we should persecute them!)
Women shouldn’t preach or contradict a man. (know your place!)
Everyone who doesn’t believe exactly as we do will burn in hell! (particularly on points 1 and 2)

What are we to make of that?

Let me start my analysis with this thought: looked at closely, the bible doesn’t even speak with a uniform voice about the afterlife (or lack thereof) itself - let alone how one gets to heaven or hell. From the Old Testament and “sheol” - often translated as “the grave” - hardly an afterlife at all, to the different New Testament perspectives which aren’t a clear statement that “salvation” means merely fire insurance. And that’s before you get to the significant differences between Saint Paul and Jesus Christ on teachings.

Oh, and there is the fact that a significant number of the early church fathers believed in some form of universalism. Even our Protestant concept of hell owes more to Greek mythology than the actual words of the bible.

So, at best, in my opinion, we ought to tread really carefully here. I personally do not believe in the Evangelical version of hell - I am inclined to a combination of C. S. Lewis in The Great Divorce, and Neil Gaiman in “Other People.” But my faith in my belief on this point is...provisional. (Actually, I believe ALL of our beliefs should be provisional - we should be open to new information.)

But I think there is another thing to look at carefully here, since we are talking about Evangelicals, who claim to take the bible literally. Except they don’t in this case. What is the usual proof text on salvation by faith alone? Let me think back to my AWANA days...here it is, recite with me:

Romans 10:9. If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

Hmm, that seems pretty...broad. Openly declare you believe Jesus is Lord, and believe sincerely in the resurrection.

I won’t go through all the other proof texts, but that is a pretty dang good summary of the stereotypical Evangelical teaching. Believe in Jesus, say a prayer out loud (some version of the Sinner’s Prayer, preferably), and BAM! You have fire insurance!

Perhaps a bit more complicated is what Jesus himself said. There are two places, where he gives a direct teaching on some form of hell. One is in Luke, where he describes the rich man in hell, and Lazarus the beggar in paradise. And the only reason for the torment of the rich man appears to be that he was rich and didn’t help Lazarus. Well, that’s kind of scary for a lot of Evangelicals, who have made the oppression of the poor their political priority, but it still seems pretty broad.

The other, of course, is in Matthew 25:31-46 - the parable of the sheep and the goats, where Christ explicitly ties eternal destiny to how we treat the vulnerable and oppressed.

You could also add in the best known parable of all time: The Good Samaritan. Which I wrote about here.

So, good evidence of salvation by how we treat the needy.

You can also find sayings of Christ indicating that belief in Him is a threshold requirement for entry into the kingdom.

Now, Evangelicals will also try then to bring into the discussion the passages in Saint Paul’s writings where he describes those who “will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” In practice, they only care about the sexual sins, of course, not the malice or slander - those are fine if directed against people outside the tribe, like, say, immigrants.

But even for those, the warning is against the actions, not the beliefs. I can’t find anywhere it says that God will burn you for eternity if you don’t have ALL the correct beliefs about how other people should act.

Here we get to the core issue.

All evidence suggests that RHE believed in Jesus Christ. All evidence indicates she publically proclaimed him as Lord. All evidence indicates she genuinely tried to follow his example and commands. For that matter, all evidence was that she was heterosexual and faithful in marriage.

So why do these guys (and it is men, overwhelmingly), believe she is burning in hell?

Because she didn’t believe in all the “right” rules.

Zack Hunt nails it: her mortal, unforgivable sin was in refusing to believe that LGBTQ people will burn in hell.

The other one, of course, was refusing to defer to male “authority,” and just shut the fuck up already. To know her place. (And yes, that is precisely one of Doug Wilson’s beefs with her.) But it is really the first one, wasn’t it? The one thing a “true” Christian may NEVER believe. That genitals are not destiny and that God doesn’t really obsess about what we do with them all that much.

This is literally salvation by believing in the right rules.

***

I think Morgan Guyton wrote the most perceptive piece on why this is. American (white) Evangelicalism isn’t about following Christ. And it hasn’t been for a very, very long time.

Rather, it is about performing orthodoxy. It is about proving to one’s self and others that one belongs in the “in-crowd.” To the Demos (the mob) as Guyton puts it. And to that end, it is necessary to find bright-line distinctions between those who are “in” and those who are “out.” And this distinction needs to be one which doesn’t call for any actual sacrifice on the part of those who are in. Instead, it has to be hatred directed at those who are out - the sacrifice is that of the outsiders. As one might put it, “The gods require the sacrifice of someone other than me.” And, to prove to each other that they are “in,” the members of the Demos must become increasingly rigid, fanatical, and cruel. Because “faith” is no longer about seeking to follow Christ in good faith: it is proving over and over to the others that we “belong.”

***

My wife and I have way too much experience with “performing orthodoxy.” Our families spent time in fundamentalist cults which took that to the extreme. We performed orthodoxy by eliminating all music with African roots. (Demonic “Tribal” rhythms, yo!) We performed orthodoxy by insisting on ever more coverage of female bodies (because female bodies are the source of SIN!) We performed orthodoxy by insisting on rigid Victorian gender roles. Eventually, when my wife and I left, and decided we were no longer going to perform orthodoxy for the benefit of family or others of our faith, we paid the price. Many relationships have been badly damaged, and we were evicted from our longtime church. As I read somewhere, belonging is a hell of a drug, and it makes you put up with shit that otherwise you would never be around. This goes for politics as well as dysfunctional relationships. But when belonging requires you to sell your soul and conscience, you have a choice. Most of Evangelicalism has sold their souls. (To white nationalism as a start…) We decided no sense of belonging was worth that price.

So yeah, I understand all too well why those of my former tribe have consigned Rachel Held Evans to hell. Because if salvation ceases to be about performing orthodoxy for other members of the mob, they might actually have to do the hard work of self-examination, and discover that, far from being good people, they have chosen to combine the power and cruelty of Rome with the self-righteousness of the Pharisees. And a WOMAN, of all people, who had the huevos to point that out, must of course be consigned to hell.

So, RIP, Rachel Held Evans. The world is a worse place without you. All of us pushing back against the darkness will miss you.










Sunday, April 28, 2019

The War That Saved My Life by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley


Source of book: Audiobook from the library.

This book is part of our not-particularly-systematic exploration of the Newbery Award and Honor books. It was an honor book in 2016. 


Sometimes, you are surprised by a book in a way you didn’t anticipate, and this was one of them. I believe this book is targeted more toward middle school kids rather than elementary, which makes sense, because it deals with some pretty heavy themes, and has a lot of darkness along with the light. My kids are pretty used to this sort of stuff, but your mileage may very. Sensitive younger kids might not deal well with the (all too realistic) physical and emotional abuse by a parent.

Here is the basic setup: Ada is a 10 year old girl who was born with a club foot. Because of her mother’s poverty, it was never treated. Instead, her mother, who never wanted children, and was furious at the fates when she was left widowed with two of them, viciously hates Ada, and imprisons her in their flat, not allowing her to speak to other people or go to school. Ada’s younger brother Jamie is “normal,” and is allowed to go to school. He is generally treated better than Ada - in fact, every fault in Jamie is punished against Ada - if he messes up, she spends the night under the sink. I’ll be blunt here: this is some pretty rough abuse in this book. I would say it was gratuitous, except that I have too much professional experience with abusive parents. I have seen worse. Definitely worse. And, as in real life, the physical abuse is less damaging than the psychological abuse.

So, World War Two breaks out, and London parents are encouraged to send their children to the countryside, so that they won’t get bombed by the Germans in the Battle of Britain. Mam is willing to let Jaime go, but insists that Ada stay. She has other ideas, however, and sneaks out with Jaime. The two of them are taken by train to a village in Cornwall, where nobody wants them - they are too dirty and ratty and unpromising.

The local head of the Women’s Volunteer Service decides to essentially force the two of them on Susan Smith, a local woman who has a...questionable reputation. To our modern minds, it isn’t too hard to figure out Susan’s issues, but back then, she described herself as “not a nice person,” and “not equipped to care for children.” As the story progresses, we learn her history, and why she is how she is. And (not much of a spoiler), she actually is a nice person - she’s more of a non-conventional person with some serious demons of her own to address.

As you might imagine, this situation is a disappointment to Jamie - the favorite child - and heaven on earth to Ada, who has never experienced tolerance, let alone love, before in her life. For her, the war is literally a lifesaver, allowing her to escape abuse and find a place for herself in the world - and indeed experience hope for the first time.

There is more, of course, and I risk spoilers if I were to get into the details too far. But I do want to address the subtext a bit, because I think it is fascinating.

Susan Smith, in addition to sharing a coincidental last name with Ada and Jamie, has a past. And not just any old past.

She is a lesbian, even though the book doesn’t explicitly spell that out. Anyone with a bit of perception can figure it out. (And that is exactly why a good number of Fundie Mommy Bloggers have their panties in an absolute knot about this book. Seriously, I Googled it, and a whole bunch came up before the more reasonable reviews of the book.)

The book brings this out gradually, and never explicitly. Susan mentions that she hasn’t been the same since her best friend (and housemate) Becky died three years ago. They essentially had (it is strongly implied) a “Boston Marriage.” Gradually, we learn that Susan was the daughter of a clergyman, who disowned her after she went to college and “changed,” and met Becky. Susan also mentions that she doesn’t actually dislike children, but since she wasn’t interested in marrying a man...she assumed she wouldn’t have them. It’s easy to read between the lines.

As it turns out, Susan is an excellent foil for Mam. If you think about it, Mam was quite interested in marrying a man, but didn’t want children. Her husband (as it turns out) called her “unnatural” and somehow either convinced or raped her into having kids. (We never find out for sure.) When he was killed in an accident, she was left with children she never wanted, crushing poverty, and no perceived future. That she took her rage at the universe out on Ada is sad and horrifying, but not that surprising. So there you have an interesting contrast: Susan wants kids but not a man, Mam wants a man but not kids. Again, this is pretty dang realistic - something the Fundies of my background aren’t really interested in acknowledging or understanding.

In fact, the Fundie Mommy Bloggers with their panties in a wad were almost equally horrified at both of these problems. A lesbian was a good parent? Horrors! A heterosexual woman didn’t fit the stereotype of wanting to be a mother more than anything in the world? That can’t possibly be true! Real women are perfectly willing - nay, eager! - to make babies the centerpiece of their lives and eschew a career and a life and a personality to do so. That’s God’s Perfect Plan for People With Vaginas™! So yes, totally subversive - and also totally realistic in my experience. People don’t fit into the neat little boxes at all.

It gets even worse! The author weaves a theme through the book which points toward tolerance - nay embrace - of innate differences and diversity which definitely subverts the Fundie insistence on conformity and rigid societal and gender roles.

Ada has her clubfoot - which is a congenital defect, correctable by proper treatment. But her mother blames Ada - it is the result of her moral failings somehow. (I can’t help but think of the Gospel of John, chapter 9...the religious establishment is SO determined to find a cause for non-conformity in the sinfulness of the person or parents…) But of course, we know (thanks to modern understandings of medicine and genetics) that neither Ada nor her parents are to blame for this - it is how she was born, and, while she is too old to ever be “fixed” completely, she can improve. But more than that: she is entitled to her own freedom, her own self determination, and her chance to be the best she can be. Thus, when her mother takes away her crutches, and attempts to reduce her to imprisonment in a room again, we know this is wrong, whatever the old superstitions may tell us. We instinctively know that Ada is entitled to live her own best life - even if her foot is never perfect. We cheer for her as she learns to compensate for her deficits and learns to ride a horse. We applaud as she finds her mobility and her independence. We cheer as she learns to read despite the way her mother has told everyone (including her) that she is mentally deficient.

There is more, though. Jamie may be the “favorite” child - although it turns out Mam doesn’t really love him either - she just uses him as a way to express her hatred for Ada - but he has his own dark secret. He is left handed. This causes his teacher to literally tie his left hand to the desk until it rubs raw. Susan flips out, and makes sure that doesn’t happen again. The teacher repeats the “traditional” line: left handedness was considered a sign of the Devil. Literally. Actually, let’s explore that one. Have you ever heard the term “sinister”? What does that term mean, and where did it come from? Believe it or not, “sinister” literally comes from the idea of left handedness. It is the opposite of “dexter” - the root of dexterity and dextrous. To be left handed was to be evil - because difference from the majority is evil, right? Right?

My mother is left handed, and she too grew up in a time when they used abusive methods to try to force left handed children into being right handed - or at least functioning as right handed persons in public. I heard the stories from her as a kid. On the plus side, she can kind of write slowly with her right hand. But she realized that she was left handed, and uses that hand exclusively for writing now. There was nothing evil about how she was born - and indeed created by God - she was just different.

This is ultimately the problem that Fundies and Evangelicals (my former religious tribe) keep running up against in the whole discussion of sexuality.

Reality doesn’t give a rat’s ass about your dogma. Particularly if it is the result of millennia of belief in the idea of female inferiority to males (perhaps a future post…) Ultimately, one has to either make adjustments to reflect new knowledge and new understandings - or one must (as one can see with the Taliban or the Saudi government) engage in increasing brutality to exterminate anyone who fails or refuses to conform to dogma.

A belief that left handed people had the sign of the Devil - and the endless attempts to force them into righthandedness - didn’t eliminate left handed people. It just caused them thoroughly unnecessary pain and trauma. And allowed the majority to experience the masturbatory pleasure of self-righteousness about how they were born “normal.”

If you want to understand how Fundies/Evangelicals are catastrophically losing the battle for hearts and minds over sexuality in general, this is a good place to start. They are bloodying themselves against reality, over and over again. I guess they can’t feel the pain because they are so intent on the pleasure their self-righteous spiritual masturbation gives them. (Although I suspect some of them are trying to drown out their own sexuality…) It isn’t hard to see the dogmatic teacher, willing to torture a child to make him conform to righthandedness in those who casually and flippantly decide to decree celibacy for all who are outside the majority. There is no limit to the pain and torture they will inflict on others, as they are smug in their “normalcy.”

There are other interesting facets to this book: the horrors and terror of war. The obvious connection of the Nazis - who tried to exterminate LGBTQ people along with ethnic and racial minorities as they devastated anyone who stood in their way - including British civilians. The exploration of grief, depression, and PTSD. Susan’s grief and recurring clinical depression (although that term isn’t used) corresponds well to Ada’s PTSD resulting from her abuse. Bradley handles these issues with an age-appropriate touch - while never actually naming them. After all, a person in 1939 wouldn’t have our own knowledge and terminology, but would certainly have experienced these universally human responses to trauma and abuse.

This book was a bit darker and heavier than I expected, but I think it was a good one for my kids. (And they can definitely handle this stuff - we have listened to and discussed plenty of darker and heavier books.) I can see why this book panicked Fundies: it directly challenges the idea that religious dogma justifies hatred and persecution of non-conforming human beings. For the exact same reason, I believe it was a good one for my children to experience - and I recommend it for other parents who want to explain these issues to their children. It is an empathetic and well written introduction to the concepts of non-conformity, superstition, and human thriving. It also is optimistic about the possibility of positive change, even as it acknowledges that some people - like Mam - are unable or unwilling to show basic human decency. And the best way to deal with those people is to stop them from harming others, and let them destroy themselves with their own hatred if they insist on doing so. And, of course, to rescue the victims of abusers (and abusive religions) and help them to thrive.

I can’t help but suspect that at least some of these self-righteous Fundie Mommy Bloggers who have their panties in a wad over this book will turn out to have LGBTQ children of their own. It will be (darkly) interesting to see how they respond. When it is your kid, shit gets real, and you can’t just enjoy your maturbatory fantasy that somehow you did everything “right” and your kids turned out cis-het, thus giving proof of your righteousness. No longer can they really ask “did my kid sin or did I sin?” without any personal consequence. At some point, they are going to have to choose their future. Will they re-evaluate their dogma? Or will they choose, like Mam, to alienate their own flesh and blood, and live estranged and without the love they could have embraced. I have seen it go both ways, personally and professionally.

Read this book. Discuss it with your kids. Choose love and not abuse. And embrace the spectrum of humanity that God (or Nature if you prefer) has created - seek to help others thrive rather than force them into your dogmatic view of conformity.


Sunday, January 27, 2019

Why Young People Are Leaving Evangelicalism


This article from fivethirtyeight.com, Nate Silver’s website, was brought to my attention by a friend a year ago. I have contemplated it ever since, and wanted to write a brief response. I decided to post this on what is roughly the second anniversary of our leaving organized religion.


My answer is “Hell yes!” It is the Evangelical idolatry of the past that is a primary factor in alienating the younger generations. The article, however, gives only part of the picture.


***

The handwriting is on the wall, so to speak. The survey cited in this article is from 2016, and it therefore misses the “Trump Effect,” which I believe will cause a greatly increased flight of the young from Evangelicalism. In fact, my family, and a number of others I know have already left, and will not be returning.

Two things the article does get correct is that 1. The infatuation with the (imaginary) past is a huge factor and 2. Belief incompatibility is an issue. However, the issue of sexuality, important as it is, is about to get overwhelmed by three greater problems.

1. Racism.

White Evangelicals, 80% of you voted for a man who ran on the 1920s Ku Klux Klan platform. In Alabama, 80% of y’all voted for a man who told an African American man to his face that America was last great when we had slavery, that all Constitutional Amendments after the Bill of Rights should be repealed, (that includes the ones ending slavery, giving non-whites equal protection under the law, giving non-whites the right to vote, giving women the right to vote, and abolishing poll taxes) and said that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and Voting Rights Act were America’s biggest mistakes. (Those are the laws that ended Jim Crow, and made the right to vote federally enforceable.) There is a literal Nazi running for office in Illinois, and I will bet good money 80% of White Evangelicals will vote for him. Steve King, an open white supremacist got reelected in Iowa, with white Evangelicals as his core constituency. In fact, right now, white Evangelicalism’s political commitments - that means parties, candidates, and yes, policies - are indistinguishable from those of the Ku Klux Klan. Young people can see this. Oh, and 70% of you believe we have no duty to take in refugees. This is far and away the highest percentage for ANY religion (or lack thereof) in America. The last year has really driven this home, with all too many white Evangelicals in my life grossly slandering immigrants, and calling for harsh policies to exclude and harass them.

2. Misogyny.

80% of White Evangelicals voted for two known sexual predators. As Rachael Denhollander testified in the prosecution of predatory doctor Larry Nassar, the Church is the least safe place for victims of sexual assault, because the church blames victims, and protects the powerful men who prey on children. The same is true for domestic violence - the Evangelical Church is not a safe place for victims, because it prioritizes a hierarchy of men over women. Finally, young people are growing up in a world where the only place that women are systematically barred from leadership is in the church. This has not escaped their notice.

3. Social Darwinism.

White Evangelicals have strong opinions about politics, and those opinions are a carbon copy of Fox News. In addition to the open racism (see above), the way that they talk about and act toward those outside their tribe (racial, political, and definitely economic) is based on the Social Darwinist teachings of atheist Ayn Rand, and bear literally zero resemblance to the teachings of Christ, the words of the apostles and prophets, or the Torah. It is a worship of money and power, and the blaming of the poor and oppressed for their own oppression. Again, young people can see this. And if Christ is nowhere to be found in our politics, why even bother.

And yet, somehow, the older white Evangelicals I know keep hand-wringing that the kids don’t believe them about sexuality. Take a look in the mirror. It isn’t a mystery.

***

I do not want to minimize the effect that Evangelicalism’s ill-advised jihad against LGBTQ people has had.

An article from NPR recently pointed out, an important reason why younger people are rejecting the political nature of Evangelicalism is a real doozy: “Younger evangelicals are also more likely [than older evangelicals] to have relationships with people of other ethnic backgrounds.” EXACTLY! It’s a lot harder to vote for racist politics if you actually know people outside your race.

And likewise, when it comes to LGBTQ people, the young folks are much more likely than the older to have known LGBTQ people their entire lives. In a shocking development, it turns out that actually knowing people different from you can lead to empathy for them. Who knew?

The reason why Evangelicalism is losing so badly on issues of sexuality with the younger generations is two-fold:

First, most of what they have told us about sex, gender, and sexuality (and yes, that includes abortion) is political propaganda at best, and outright falsehood at worst. If you lie often enough, people will realize you lie, and stop believing you. And if you keep insisting on “truths” that do not match people’s experience of the world, then you will lose them.

Second, Evangelicalism offers no solutions that would actually help people. (In the case of abortion, honestly, their other political commitments would increase abortions.) Rather, they offer condemnation, discrimination, and eventually, criminalization.

Both of the above are also problems that touch on race, gender, and class - those three issues I believe will be the leading reasons young people leave Evangelicalism. The handwriting is on the wall…

***

Just a thought:

If you are trying to convince younger people that your policies on LGBTQ rights and abortion criminalization aren’t driven by the same nostalgia for the past and outright bigotry as racism and misogyny, then perhaps you shouldn’t embrace…open racism and misogyny. Just saying.

Some pertinent links:


Full survey from 2017. The handwriting is on the wall.

Numbers from Pew Research for 2018-2019. There has been a dramatic dropoff in the last ten years. Gee, I wonder why? 

Pavlovitz nails it again. Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and the late Christopher Hitchens can only DREAM of making as powerful an argument in favor of atheism as white American Evangelicals have made the last few years.


Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Hypocrisy and Hate: The Poisonous Legacy of Phyllis Schlafly

Note: I wrote this two years ago, but didn’t post it, because of some pretty significant events. Namely, the election of an open White Nationalist to the presidency, due in large part to the collaboration of white Evangelicals. So I wrote about that. I got distracted last year, and totally forgot to post it. So this year, I am posting it on the two year anniversary.

***

This is not a eulogy. It is an accusation - an indictment of an evil person, and of those of my parents’ and grandparents’ generation who took her poison to their bosom.

***

From Merriam Webster:

Hypocrisy: a feigning to be what one is not or to believe what one does not; especially :  the false assumption of an appearance of virtue or religion

From Jesus Christ:

"And you experts in the law, woe to you, because you load people down with burdens they can hardly carry, and you yourselves will not lift one finger to help them.” (Luke 11:46)

***

Phyllis Schlafly has finally died.

While I do not rejoice in anyone’s death, I do breathe a sigh of relief when someone who has done great evil in the world becomes unable to do so anymore. The damage remains, however. I write this post so that we can remember the evil Schlafly stood for, and avoid perpetuating her poisonous policies.

I deliberately started this post with a couple of definitions of hypocrisy, because Schlafly was, more than anything else, one of the biggest hypocrites of my lifetime. She also did immense - and perhaps incalculable - damage to both the Republican Party and to Evangelicalism. The Religious Right as a movement was co-founded by her, and the arguments she made have become mainstream in both the GOP and Evangelicalism, unfortunately.

The two quotes above capture, in my opinion, two complementary features of hypocrisy.

First, let me clarify that I do not define hypocrisy as doing one thing, then learning from that mistake, and advising others to avoid it. All of us have embarrassing things we have said and done that we regret. I certainly have. Growing past those things is not hypocrisy - it’s improvement!

Rather, hypocrisy is holding others to a standard that you do not hold yourself to. That’s in the dictionary definition. A great example that I see all the time is upper middle class people who are always in debt and financial trouble - but who love to lecture lower income people about their budgeting failures. One standard for them - and a different one for us.

But I think Christ captures a second part, which is placing burdens on others that you yourself didn’t have to bear, and refusing to help. This is enjoying one’s privileges yet refusing to extend them to others. It’s taking advantage of opportunities, while denying them to others. It’s a sense of entitlement combined with a lack of compassion.

Schlafly exemplified both of these facets of hypocrisy in spades.

***

A quick biography. Schlafly was born in 1924. During the depression, her father lost his job and couldn’t find work (like so many in that era - 25% unemployment…), so her mother worked to support the family.

Schlafly herself would enter the workforce after her college education. At age 25, she married into a wealthy family. She would remain in the workforce essentially her entire life - but she had the financial independence which comes with hereditary wealth to set her own hours and do what she wanted.

She entered the political fray, and spent the early part battling against racial integration (as part of the self proclaimed “moral conservatives” that defeated a anti-segregation plank in the Republican platform of 1960.)

It was a later battle, however, which defined her. That battle was for the defeat of the Equal Rights Amendment, which would have forbidden discrimination on the basis of sex. The Amendment would fail to be ratified by the states as a result of her efforts. (More on this later.)

She would then go on to form the Religious Right, primarily with Paul Weyrich (who has admitted that it was support for segregation that held the coalition together), Jerry Falwell, and Bob Jones Sr. (president of the college of the same name - which only recently began to permit interracial dating, and only then under duress.) Schlafly herself formed the Eagle Forum, a political action group which would focus on opposition to Feminism.

Perhaps the most central idea to Schlafly’s activism was that women belonged in the home, that childcare and housekeeping were primarily “women’s work,” and that Feminism™ was the greatest threat to women. As I will point out, this idea manifested in a number of ways, but in the political sense, she opposed just about anything that would grant economic, political, or social equality to women. (That’s the dictionary definition of Feminism, by the way…)

But she didn’t live that way.

At the same time she was telling other women that they should stay home with their children rather than work, she was out lecturing, running for Congress, writing, and generally not staying at home.

Who cared for her kids?

Well, it turns out that she had a full time housekeeper/nanny who did that for her. This woman performed this function for decades. Schlafly also had a personal assistant, which likely freed her up to set her own schedule.

In a former era, this would be called “having servants.” Of course it is easier to do all the things Schlafly did if you can pay someone to do the grunt work for you - and raise your kids. But most women can’t afford that.

This is the textbook definition of a hypocrite. The standard she imposed on others was not one she had to abide by herself. Of course not! She was rich, so the rules really never had to apply to her.

Likewise, she placed the burden on other women, many of whom couldn’t afford to stay home full time. By making “Stay at Home Mom” into “God’s plan for all women,” she burdened millions of women with impossible expectations. (And, as her political activism against policies which would ease the burden on lower income women show, she had no intention of lifting a finger to help.)

***

Now, about her legacy. As I see it, she damaged both the GOP and Evangelicalism in a number of ways.

First, the political. Her work to keep integration out of the GOP platform in 1960, which was Nixon’s first run, led eventually to Nixon adopting the “Southern Strategy,” which was a rejection of the Republican heritage of supporting the Civil Rights Movement and an embrace of White Nationalist voters, if not always their policies. It is not a coincidence that pro-Segregation Whites switched en masse from the Democrats to the Republicans.

The founding of the Religious Right as a political force likewise had reverberations which continue to this day. As Paul Weyrich said, the Religious Right was founded on a pro-Segregation basis, and only later switched to an anti-abortion position. Schlafly too was instrumental in this switch, as she made opposition to Feminism the central plank in her platform.

This idea that the ideal family was one where the man brought home the bacon while the woman stayed home and kept house and raised the kids wasn’t a Republican issue at the time. In fact, although it is hard to believe now, Nixon came close to signing a bill for subsidized day care and paid family leave. The Religious Right (and the openly racist Pat Buchanan) defeated that, and ever since, opposition to what many of us consider basic family friendly policy has been vehemently opposed by the Republican party.

You can see the results even now, with a spokesman for The Toupee Who Shall Not Be Named claiming that what women care about most is that their husbands have well-paying jobs. (As I will show, this is nearly a direct quote from Schlafly.)

I’ll detail a few more policies which are directly drawn from Schlafly’s advocacy below. Suffice it to say that The Toupee Who Shall Not Be Named turns out to be pretty much Schlafly’s ideal candidate, as far as policies are concerned.

As for the legacy within Evangelicalism, let me start with this:

You would never know, given the strong anti-feminist advocacy of the Religious Right and most prominent Evangelical teachers, that 19th Century Feminism was actually an Evangelical movement.

The shift started before Schlafly, of course. In the aftermath of the Civil War, the conservative denominations within American Christianity sadly retrenched around Segregation and Patriarchy as core beliefs.

But it is important to remember that prior to the rise of the Religious Right, Feminism wasn’t that controversial of an idea for most Evangelicals. During World War II, many women entered the workforce while the men were away at war - and many of them remained there afterward. The Equal Rights Amendment wasn’t considered controversial either. The Republican platform of 1956 expressly endorsed it.  It had passed Congress by that time, and had been ratified by 30 states before Schlafly took aim at it.

And the text of the Amendment isn’t - or shouldn’t be - all that controversial.

Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex."

That’s it. That’s the entire text. This is what Schlafly couldn’t abide.

By the way, in an Eagle Forum pamphlet opposing the ERA, she said: “Do you want the sexes fully integrated like the races?” (Oh yes, she was deeply and viciously racist. See more below.)

This is where the damage was done. American Evangelicalism these days has a strong undercurrent of hostility toward Feminism. Often this is based on a straw-man version of feminism which doesn’t exist except possibly on the fringes. (I know a lot of feminists - including my wife - and the caricature of the man-hating woman is a fiction. Even in my law practice, I meet 1000 men who hate women for every woman I meet who hates men.)

There is also a veneration of the “stay-at-home mom” and an idolatry of motherhood in Evangelicalism. I’ve pointed out before that this essentially denies the higher levels of “godliness” to women in lower income families.

It isn’t universal, but there are a great many - particularly within the more conservative circles - that outright state that a woman who works outside the home while she has children is living in sin. This is the one that is pretty personal for me, as my wife and I have gotten plenty of pushback from extended family over the fact that she works. Schlafly is largely to blame for this, which is ironic because she didn’t live this way.

Now let me turn to a few other things that Schlafly has said and done.

***

A quick Google search turns up a whole bunch of, um, interesting things that Schlafly has said and done. Here are a few:

Defended Joe Paterno, who knew his assistant was raping young boys, but covered it up:

After the National Organization for Women called for Paterno to resign following his defense of a player who assaulted a woman, she wrote in her column: "Just a few feminists with a fax machine will smear anyone in their war against football.

Clearly football is more important than stopping sexual assault.

Blamed the Violence Against Women Act for broken marriages:

“When marriages are broken by false allegations of domestic violence, U.S. taxpayers fork up an estimated $20 billion a year to support the resulting single-parent, welfare-dependent families.” – Schlafly, Feb. 2011.

Did Schlafly really believe domestic violence was imaginary? Maybe. I find that upper middle class women of a certain age are in deep denial that anyone else could be experiencing spousal abuse. I get the feeling that Schlafly would rather have seen women get beaten than that they get divorced. I also seem to recall (although I can’t find it) that she, like the reality-challenged folks at the Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood believed that Feminism has increased spousal abuse rates.

Except that VAWA and other laws have reduced domestic violence significantly. The trend is actually very positive. Domestic Violence has been on a long term decline, but has really dropped in the last couple of decades, despite the fact that it is now more acceptable to report it. The culture is changing for the better on this issue - and Feminism deserves much of the credit.

Excused sexual harassment and blamed the victims:

“Non-criminal sexual harassment on the job is not a problem for the virtuous woman except in the rarest of cases.” -Schlafly before the United States Senate, 1981.

Yes, women ask to be harassed and assaulted, right? Only “sluts” get harassed, right?

Said that the way to prevent violence against women was for women to marry rather than have careers:

“So what’s the answer for women who worry about male violence? It’s not to fear all men. It’s to reject the lifestyle of frequent 'hookups,' which is so much promoted on college campuses today, while the women pursue a career and avoid marriage.” - Radio address August 28, 2014

Yep, if women would just (unlike her, of course) stay out of college and stay home instead...violence against them would go down. Really?

Said that husbands have the right to rape their wives:

“By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don’t think you can call it rape.” – “Schlafly cranks up agitation at Bates” Sun Journal, 2007.

Because saying “I do” means you give up all bodily autonomy, right? In her defense, the law reflected her view for far too long. That doesn’t mean it is a right, or even remotely moral position to hold.

Said we don’t need to ever have a female president:

“Our greatest presidents have all been men,” she said, “and they’ve been very good for our country.”

Of course, we haven’t ever had a female president, so we have no idea if they would have been better than the man. One could as accurately have said “Our worst presidents have all been men, and they were terrible for our country.” (Looking at you, Andrew Jackson and Warren Harding.)

The easy counterexample is England. On a percentage basis, who has been better for England, the kings or the queens? Just saying.

Called for increasing the pay gap between men and women:

“The best way to improve economic prospects for women is to improve job prospects for the men in their lives, even if that means increasing the so-called pay gap.”

Again, say WHAT? But wait! This is what that Trump staffer said too. It’s a worldview: men earn, women stay home. The real world has never worked that way, though, particularly for lower-income families. As a friend pointed out, women of color have always worked. 


Called on Congress to pass a resolution specifically privileging marriages where the woman doesn’t work outside the home:

“Once Congress is on a roll to confer dignity, it should confer an extra measure of dignity on the single-earner family, where a provider-husband is the principal breadwinner and his wife is dedicated to the job of homemaker, a role more socially beneficial than working in the paid labor force.” - Newspaper column in 2015

This was part of a column condemning same-sex marriage, by the way. Apparently, the point of “traditional” marriage to her was in large part the preservation of gender roles.

And again, never forget that SHE didn’t stay home with her children and housework. She paid someone to care for her children and clean her house.

Argued against paid family leave:

She made the ludicrous claim that it would only benefit “highly-paid, two-earner yuppie couples” who could afford to take the time off without pay. Never mind, of course, that those would would benefit the most would actually be lower income women.  

Called for the elimination of Title IX:

This is the law which prohibits sex discrimination in education. She also called for a combination of quotas and elimination of student loans to reduce the percentage of women in college.  The hypocrisy of a highly educated woman seeking to deny the opportunity to other women is astounding.

Opposed scientifically accurate Sex Ed:

“Sex education classes are like in-home sales parties for abortions.” – Schalfly, Feb. 1997.

Actually, it turns out that comprehensive sex education and readily available contraception has resulted in a significant decrease in both teen pregnancy and abortion rates in the last couple of decades. There is ample and increasing evidence that the key to reducing abortion is a combination of better education and affordable contraceptives - particularly long-acting reversible contraception - lowers both pregnancy and abortion rates. In addition, accurate, consent-based education has been shown to be effective at delaying first intercourse - and dramatically reducing sex between teens and older adults.

Claimed that enforcing child support judgments was bad for children:

“People think that child-support enforcement benefits children, but it doesn’t.” – Schlafly, “Federal Incentives Make Children Fatherless,” May, 2005.

Say WHAT? So, it’s better that fathers not pay child support? I think the argument here is that women wouldn’t get divorces if they and their kids starved or something like that. I don’t even know many people who make this argument. Sheesh! (Okay, this has been a central plank in many ways of the “Men’s Rights Movement.” If women couldn’t get child support from men, then they wouldn’t be so dang disobedient to men’s wishes.)

This actually fits with Schlafly’s central belief about the economics of male/female relationships, which is that men need to be the primary earners, and women need to shut up and obey men. Except her, of course.

Opposed the teaching of science:

“It is long overdue for parents to realize they have the right and duty to protect our children against the intolerant evolutionists.” -Schlafly, “Time to End the Censorship,” Dec. 2004.

I know I’m probably in the minority on this one within my former Tribe, but I really don’t think we need to “protect” our children from learning things such as Astrophysics, Paleontology, Biology, and so on. The evidence is overwhelmingly in favor of an old universe, the Big Bang, biological evolution, and so forth. (I blogged about this a few years back.) It’s not a conspiracy, and it isn’t about “intolerance.” We do not teach a flat earth or geocentrism anymore either - and it isn’t because of a conspiracy.


This is just one of many, many statements that it was easy to find where Schlafly showed hostility toward non-Whites, immigrants, and poor people. Here are a few more:

Called for banning Latin American baseball players:

 “Cut off visas for foreign baseball players, and return our National Pastime to Americans,” the St. Louis native said in a radio segment in February. “When I was growing up, my favorite sport was baseball. One of my most exciting memories was attending the World Series in 1944 between the St. Louis Cardinals and the St. Louis Browns. Baseball is a wonderful activity for boys and young men. It helps develop mental discipline, patience, and obeying rules. A lower percentage of professional baseball players have post-career troubles compared with football and basketball players, and baseball is a safer sport, too. The best baseball players today are American-born. All six of the six recipients of the top awards this past season are native-born American. But more than a quarter of Major League Baseball players today are foreign-born, with whom our youth are less likely to identify. Some of these players cannot speak English, and they did not rise through the ranks of Little League. These foreign-born players enter on visas and take positions that should have gone to American players. Fewer than four percent of the Baseball Hall of Fame is foreign-born, yet 27 percent of today’s players are.”

Every time I read that, I am astounded by the racism. And the assumption that whites are the only true Americans.

Opposed (and torpedoed) a plank in the 1960 Republican platform calling for an end to segregation.

I mentioned this one above.

Argued that anti-segregation laws were unconstitutional:

Oh yes she did. This has ever since been a cherished belief of the fringe right, from the loathsome Matt Walsh to the equally loathsome Ron Paul. Never, ever, forget that Schlafly began her political career fighting against racial integration. Never, ever forget.

Supported vote-suppression laws:

Specifically the ones in North Carolina which were recently struck down by the courts because the expressly targeted African American voters. Why did she support them? On the grounds of...wait for it...the fact that low income and minority voters tended to vote for Democrats rather than Republicans. Because it is totally legitimate to make laws specifically to benefit your political party while making it harder for African Americans to vote.

By the way, you really should read the court’s opinion in the case. The legislature specifically asked for racial statistics, then wrote the law to change only those things that benefited African Americans. In case you were wondering, this is the case that changed my mind on Voter ID laws. They are expressly intended to make it harder for certain disfavored demographic groups to vote. There is a reason why even conservative judges are striking the laws down.

She repeatedly referred to a Jewish internationalist conspiracy:

It was pretty easy to find quotes about the influence of “financially connected minorities” with “internationalist” goals. Um, this is classic anti-Semitic code language used by the John Birch Society, among others. (Schlafly was a John Bircher for a while, before deciding she had other priorities.)

One final one on race I want to share. A friend of mine worked in media a while back, and did a radio interview with Schlafly. During the conversation, he brought up a current event: the push by Puerto Rico and other US territories for statehood. Schlafly was horrified at the idea. The last thing she wanted was more of “those people.” Here is a partial transcript, which my friend let me listen to.

Interviewer: (mentions Congressional hearing where American Samoa was suggested as well)
Schlafly: Well we don’t want them either.
Interviewer (stunned): Why so?
Schlafly: Well that does nothing but cause trouble.
Interviewer: Okay.
Schlafly: Okay, have a good day. (Hangs up on him.)

The contempt dripping from her voice is palpable.

She basically initiated the Religious Right’s political war on LGBTQ people.

I could spend plenty of time on this one, including the way that she (and many other Religious Right leaders then and now) grossly slandered LGBTQ people by claiming they were all child molesters out to get the kids. I could mention that despite having a gay son herself, she made opposition to any form of civil rights for LGBTQ people a central plank of both the GOP and Evangelicalism. If you want to look at the history of calls to deny LGBTQ people housing and employment and government services, and so on, you will see the line go back to her. Maybe I should mention that like modern day hate-mongers like Kevin Swanson (no relation, thank God!), she too waxed nostalgic about the days when you could kill and imprison people for gay sex.

I have written about this before, and I stand by it: the obsession with sex and the effort to deny LGBTQ people basic human rights, dignity, and access to society has been a disaster for American Christianity, and will - in my opinion - be a major reason that the next generation abandons the faith. When the focus of your faith is harming people, you are going to alienate the decent people, and attract the evil and violent sorts instead.

***

So many of these issues affect me and my friends and family. I discussed the ones related to sex discrimination in employment in my review of Gillian Thomas’ excellent book, Because of Sex. I have friends and family who would have lived under Jim Crow had Schlafly had her way. I have clients who have had issues getting ID due to destruction of birth records, and would be excluded from their right to vote. I know many who have been victims of domestic violence, and benefited from VAWA and other laws which take domestic violence seriously. I myself have benefited from parental leave. Many, many people I know and love rely on the income from women. And that includes me. I have a wife who works. I have LGBTQ friends and family who would suffer under the laws Schlafly promoted.

I also have suffered harm as a result of Schlafly’s teaching. A significant source of conflict with certain friends and family has been the fact that my wife does not adhere to the gender roles that Schlafly promoted. For everyone else, not her, of course.

***

Hypocrisy.

It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? She holds other women to a different standard than she was willing to meet.

And talk about denying others the privileges she had. Maybe it was because she married money, which seems to make one entitled. (In fact, the most entitled people I work with in my practice are the wives of rich men.)

She of course was supported in luxury. The women that needed to work to survive, well, they just weren’t as good as her. She enjoyed living in the United States, but those brown skinned people that wanted the same? No way. Nothing good ever happens when you let those people in. Other women want to escape abuse? No dice. VAWA is bad for marriages. She could take a break from her work to give birth and recover. But other women shouldn’t have that. Unless they found richer husbands. College was fine for her, but most women should be discouraged from doing the same. I’m sure she would have objected had she been denied housing or health care because of her religion. But denying the same to LGBTQ people? Not just fine, but what we should do. And then throw in the opposition to desegregation...

Her entire political career can be summed up as an ongoing attempt to be sure that she and others like her got privileges that would then be denied to others.

This is the textbook definition of hypocrisy.

***

The rise of Donald Trump

As I researched this, I was struck by just how much Schlafly and Trump were alike. Le Toupee too has, um, distinct opinions on the role of women. He may be more vulgar about it, but he too believes women should focus on reproduction and housekeeping. (And he too has a fondness for farming the work out to nannies and servants…) He too dismisses sexual harassment. Hey, just get a different job - or better yet stay home. He too believes that the man earning the money is the way things should be. I don’t think I even need to draw the parallels on racial issues. His whole campaign could be Schlafly’s views proposed as legislation.

It is no accident that she endorsed Trump. And it is no accident that white Evangelicalism voted for him to the tune of about 80%. He isn’t really that different than she, and he largely represents the “values” that dominate Evangelical culture.

And it is due in significant part to her efforts that Evangelical culture DOES share the “values” of Donald Trump. She set this up over decades. White middle-class privilege as “godliness.” Gender Roles as the Gospel™. Antagonism and fear toward brown skinned people. Hatred of LGBTQ people. Hostility toward Feminism. The whole shebang.

And then, someone came along who represented the real values held by white Evangelicalism, but without the pretty and pleasant exterior, and everyone fell in line behind him.

In fact, religious affiliation is one of the two strongest indicators of whether a white person will vote for Le Toupee. (The other is low education…) That says volumes. And it isn’t good.

***

 Schlafly is losing in the long run, and she may take Evangelicalism down with her.

I’m not fond of politics in the first place, and I really do not care what happens to the GOP. They made their bed, and have become the party of old racist white people. That was their choice, and they will live or die with it.

What I am more concerned about is the long-term and horrific damage that Schlafly and the other founders of the Religious Right did to American Evangelicalism. More than anything, the Religious Right has made good on the guarantee that it would deliver votes to the GOP no matter what.

No matter how opposed the policies are to the teachings of Christ. And, as it turns out, no matter how evil the candidate. Open racism? Eh, Evangelicals will still vote for you. Dead refugees? Children in cages? Evangelicals won’t care about those people. Not really.

That’s Schlafly’s true legacy.

In the greater culture, however, she is losing. Despite her best attempts, feminism is winning. Because it works. Domestic violence is way down. Because of feminism, not because Schlafly got women to avoid college.

Speaking of that, women are seeking education in increasing numbers, and the opportunities available to them are greater than ever. The pay gap is decreasing. And, on a related note, men are increasingly willing to take on the “women’s work” of childcare and housework. (Hey, I’m one of those guys! Caring for children is wonderful, and I am grateful that I can work modest hours and be with them more.)

Ultimately, most of the goals of the ERA are being realized through other legislation, such as Title IX and various state laws forbidding discrimination on the basis of sex.

And, amazingly, the world has not fallen apart. Is there room for improvement? Of course. And many of us are working toward those improvements, rather than trying desperately to return to the past.

The problem is that the primary foe right now in the fight against domestic violence is white Evangelicalism. The primary foe in the fight to help refugees is white Evangelicalism. White Evangelicals are the problem in the fight against racism, modern segregation, police brutality, and a host of other issues. The main source of hostility toward brown skinned people turns out to be white Evangelicals. The ones most eager to deny fellow humans employment and shelter? White Evangelicals.

The risk here is significant: the Religious Right has made religion all about a political agenda that many of us find loathsome. And we are rejecting it. This is particularly true for people of color, younger people, and people with a college education.

Many Christians I know are bemoaning the increase in the number of people who are “nones.” This includes an increasing number of atheists, of course, but also a lot who believe in the Divine, but shun affiliation with religious groups. These Christians - white Evangelicals - however, are the ones least likely to look in the mirror, and acknowledge that white Evangelicalism is driving away people who have a conscience, who are troubled by racism and xenophobia, who have grave doubts about the claim that the Republican Party platform furthers the Kingdom of God, who eschew hatred of others - even atheists and gays. There is a significant - and growing - backlash against Schlafly’s hatred. And her intellectual and political heirs are crying “persecution.” Which is laughable for many reasons, many of which Ben Corey lays out here. What really is happening is people are revolted by religious bullying, or as I call it, being an “Asshole For Jesus,” which is exactly what she made her political career doing. More and more of us are saying, “enough!” The question isn’t whether we will reject religious bullying. It’s whether we will end up leaving American Christianity all together. (For now, the answer for me and my family has been that no, we will no longer participate in American “Christianity.”)

I’ve used the quote before, and I will continue to use it as often as necessary. This was a comment on a video by John Piper wherein he claims that Christianity teaches that women should stay and be beaten rather than leave the marriage and press charges against the abuser:

“Richard Dawkins wishes he were as effective as this video at convincing people that Christianity is a morally bankrupt mess.”

Herein lies the problem - and Schlafly’s true legacy.

Richard Dawkins can only wish and dream that he had been as effective as Phyllis Schlafly at convincing people that Christianity is a morally bankrupt mess.

Not only did she spend her life demonstrating the moral bankruptcy and hypocrisy of her religion, she did her level best to make American [white] Evangelicalism the morally bankrupt mess it is today.

***

It isn’t too often one can truly say of someone that the world is a far better place without them, but this is one of those cases. I do not rejoice in her death, but breathe a sigh of relief that at least one viciously racist person can no longer spew bile in this world.

So, Ms. Schlafly, farewell to this life, and may you find a better mercy than you were willing to bestow on others. May you find a truer justice than you accorded to others. And may you escape the hate that you poured out on others.

And that, my friends, is the best I can do.

***

I haven’t believed in the Evangelical version of hell since Junior High. (I read C. S. Lewis’ book, The Great Divorce then.) There are many reasons for this, one of which is laid out pretty well by John Pavlovitz in this post. Another is that it seems to be an Evangelical wet dream of a revenge fantasy to be inflicted on all those outside of the tribe. But if there is an Evangelical hell, Jesus Christ himself made it abundantly clear that our destiny doesn’t hang on whether we pray the right prayer: it’s how we treat the least of these, including immigrants, the poor, the incarcerated, and the ill. On that basis, IF there is an Evangelical hell, then Phyllis Schlafly is assuredly burning there right now.

I am more or less an annihilationist. I believe that someday, all of us will receive (as we lawyers say) full and complete disclosure. We see but through a glass, darkly. Someday, we see face to face. And we will have a chance to choose. Will we give up the evil part of us and enter into fellowship with the Divine? Or will we choose to give up existence. I believe that there are many who, faced with the prospect of being equal to - or worse, lower than - all those people they hated and oppressed during their lifetimes, will choose annihilation. I believe Hitler will choose that, rather than live with constant reminders of what he did.

I believe Phyllis Schlafly will likewise choose that. I hope she doesn’t, but I think she lived her life with her entire identity wrapped up in preserving her own privilege. Without that, she had nothing to live for.

***

Comment policy: Please read my comment policy before commenting. In particular, I will not tolerate any hate speech in the comments. I also will not tolerate any arguments regarding the morality of homosexuality. I’ve heard the arguments a million times. And I don’t think they matter in the context of our behavior toward our neighbor. Seeking to harm someone is hate. Feel free to read my longer post on this issue.