archy's life of mehitabel by Don Marquis

 Source of book: I own this

 

I have mentioned in the past that I have a collection of offbeat writers that I love, and which few have heard of these days. One of those is Don Marquis, who I discovered in high school. 

 

I won’t repeat all of the biographical information, or explain who archy and mehitabel are, because I already did that a decade ago when I reviewed archy and mehitabel. 

 

This book is the second of the three collections published in the 1920s and 30s, which contain the various poems Marquis published in The Evening Sun as part of his regular column. There are modern anthologies available as well, but I have managed to collect the original three in used hardback form. 

 

As the title suggests, this book contains some of the backstory for mehitabel the cat - her early life and traumatic adventures. They are told with a certain amount of wry sarcasm by archy the cockroach (who was a free verse poet in a previous life - his break from traditional forms led to his punishment by the gods by being reincarnated as a roach), who considers mehitabel to be a friend, but an unreliable one. 

 

We also get, at the end of the collection, an account of archy and mehitabel’s misadventures in Hollywood - mehitabel is certain she is destined to be a movie star, but flames out, returning to New York City with nothing to show for her trouble but a litter of platinum blonde kittens. 

 

The other poems are, as usual, satires on American life in the early 20th Century, as archy sees humans from the insect point of view. They are often hilarious, but rather pointed. Like James Thurber (another favorite author of the era), there is a certain voice of New York of this period, and I find it delightful. 

 

I’ll quote a bit from the introduction, as it both introduces the character, and pokes fun at would-be poets. 

 

Archy the Cockroach made his initial appearance in my office a good many years ago, in fact about the same time that free verse began to commend itself to the multitudes because it looked as if it would be so easy to write. There was a period which many persons still more or less alive may remember when you could not scratch a taxi-driver, an insurance agent, or a newspaper reporter without finding a free-verse poet under the skin. 

 

This is the truth even today. Free verse looks easy to write, but, if anything, it is more difficult than traditional forms. At least if you want to write it well. There is a LOT of utter dreck in free verse form out there, much of which is forgotten within a year of its writing. The truly good stuff - the poetry that will endure as classics - is a lot more difficult to write, because poetry isn’t just expressing an idea in a few words. It requires the melding of the music of the sounds with meaning “written slant” as Emily Dickinson put it. 

 

Don Marquis wrote some darn good free verse, with words and line breaks chosen to create a meaning of its own. Here are the ones I liked the best in this collection. 

 

the return of archy

 

where have i been so long

you ask me

i have been going up

and down like the devil

seeking what i may devour

i am always hungry always hungry

and in the end i shall

eat everything

all the world shall come at 

last to the multitudinous maws

of insects

a civilization perishes

before the tireless teeth

of little little germs

ha ha i have thrown off the mask

at last

you thought i was only

an archy 

but i am more than that

i am anarchy

where have i been you ask

i have been organizing the insects

the ants the worms the wasps

the bees the cockroaches

the mosquitoes

for a revolt against mankind

i have declared war

upon humanity

i even i shall fling

the mighty atom

that splits a planet asunder

i ride the microbe

that crashes down olympus

where have i been you ask me where

i am jove and from my seat

on the edge of a bowl of beef stew

i launch the thunderous

molecule

that smites a cosmos into bits

where have i been you ask

but you had better ask

who follows in my train

there is an ant

a desert ant a tamerlane

who ate a pyramid in rage

that he might get at and devour

the mummies of six hundred 

kings who in remote 

antiquity had stepped upon

and crushed ascendants of his

my myrmidons

are trivial things

and they have always ruled

the world

and now they shall strike down mankind

i shall show you how

a solar system

pivots on the nubbin

of a flageolet bean

i shall show you how a blood clot

moving in a despots brain

flung a hundred million men 

to death and disease

and plunged a planet into woe

for twice a hundred years

we have the key

to the fourth dimension

for we know the little things

that swim and swarm 

in protoplasm

i can show you love and hate

and the future

dreaming side by side

in a cell

in the little cells where

matter is so fine it merges

into spirit

you ask me where i have been

but you had better

ask me where i am

and what 

i have been drinking

exclamation point

                        archy

 

And this amusing one, which I will quote only in part - it is pretty long:

 

archy experiences a seizure

 

“Where have you been so long? And what on earth do you mean by coming in here so soused?” we asked Archy as he zigzagged from the door to the desk. 

He climbed onto the typewriter keys and replied indignantly:

 

soused yourself i havent had a drink

and yet i am elevated i admit it i have

been down to a second hand book

store eating a lot of kiplings earlier

poetry it always excites me if i eat

a dozen stanzas of it i get all lit up

and i try to imitate it get out of my

way now i feel a poem in the kipling 

manner taking me

 

And before we could stop him he began to butt on the keys:

 

the cockroach stood by the mickle

wood in the flush of the astral dawn

and he sniffed the air from the hidden

lair where the khyber swordfish spawn

and the bilge and belch of the glutton

welsh as they smelted their warlock cheese

surged to and fro where the grinding

floe wrenched at the headlands knees

 

And on and on it goes in that vein. It is a truly delightful parody of Kipling’s style and silly bravado. Throughout, there are the usual Victorian Colonialist catch-phrases, from “teeth and claw” to “jungle lore.” It’s brilliant. You can read the whole thing here. 

 

Another one too long to quote in full is “peace - at a price.” I think it is one of the best of Marquis’ work on the absurdity of human arrogance and violence. Here are some of the best parts:

 

one thing the human

bean never seems to

get into it is the

fact that humans

appear just as unnecessary to

cockroaches as cockroaches

do to humans

…

how came this monster with the heavy

foot harsh voice and cruel heart to

rule the world

had it been dogs or cats or elephants

i could have acquiesced and found a

justice working in the decree but man

gross man the bloody minded

crossed unsocial death dispenser of this

sphere who slays for pleasure slays

for sport for whim

who slays from habit breeds to slay and

slays

whatever breed has humors not his own

the whole apparent universe one sponge

blood filled from insect mammal fish

and bird

which he squeezes down his vast

gullet 

…

as a friend of both 

parties i should regret war

what we need is

intelligent propaganda who is

better qualified to handle

the propaganda than 

yours truly

                        Archy

 

Another poem that satirizes human arrogance is “quote and only man is vile quote.” Here is a bit of it:

 

as a representative

of the insect world

i have often wondered

on what man bases his claims

to superiority

everything he knows he has had

to learn whereas we insects are born

knowing everything we need to know

for instance man had to invent

airplanes before he could fly

…

i should describe the human race 

as a strange species of bipeds

who cannot run fast enough 

to collect the money

which they owe themselves

…

man is a queer looking gink

who uses what brains he has

to get himself into trouble with

and then blames it on the fates

…

 

I also enjoyed this one, a bit of a satire of social reform movements.

 

archy s mission

 

well boss i am

going to quit living

a life of leisure

i have been an idler

and a waster and a

mere poet too long

my conscience has waked up

wish yours would do the same

i am going to have

a moral purpose in my life

hereafter and a cause

i am going to reclaim

cockroaches and teach them

proper ways of living

i am going to see if i cannot

reform insects in general

i have constituted

myself a missionary

extraordinary 

and minister

plenipotentiary

and entomological

to bring idealism to

the little struggling brothers

the conditions in the insect

world today would shock

american reformers

if they knew about them

the lives they lead

are scarcely fit to print

i cannot go into

details but the contented

laxness in which i find

them is frightful

a family newspaper is no place

for these revelations

but i am trying to have

printed in paris

for limited circulation

amongst truly earnest 

souls a volume which will

be entitled

the truth about the insects

i assure you there is nothing

even in the old testament

as terrible

i shall be the cotton mather

of the boll weevil

                        archy

 

The “cotton mather of the boll weevil” is just hilarious to me. The best sort of wordplay. 

 

Also amusing is this one:

 

book review

 

boss a new book

has appeared

which should be

read by every one

it is entitled

the cockroach

its life history

and how to deal

with it and

the author

is frederick laing

who is assistant

in the department 

of entomology in the

british museum

of natural history

it is one of the 

best books i ever

tasted i am eating

the binding from 

a copy with

a great deal of 

relish and

recommend it

to all other 

insects yours

truly

                        archy

 

As in the previous volume, there is a poem of “archygrams” - aphorisms from the bug. This one in particular made me smile. 

 

honesty is a good

thing but

it is not profitable to

its possessor

unless it is

kept under control

if you are not

honest at all

everybody hates you

and if you are

absolutely honest

you get martyred

 

I’ll end with this one:

 

human nature aint that bad

 

A bulletin from Archy, who is back in New York and glad of it.

 

thought i would never get home

did i tell you about the two bums

i listened to in california

named spike and cheesy

they were washing selves and clothes

in an irrigation ditch

cheesy says this valley was once the bottom 

of the ocean dont that give you a queer feeling

now i know why i feel at home here says spike

my old man always said i would sink lower

than any other human on earth

and it appears i have attained my goal at last

the long struggle of my life has ended

in complete victory i am finally at

where i was going to please pass the canned heat

i want to drink to the boy who made good

i suppose said cheesy we have been getting

a lot of handouts and nickels

really intended for workingmen out of jobs

never look a gift horse in the mouth said spike

but what i am really afraid of said cheesy

is that this depression will end some time

and people will start offering me jobs again

cheer up said spike dont be a pessimist

we weathered lots of good times before

and we will manage to get through somehow

when they come again

you gotta look on the bright side of things

this depression is making the public gift minded

i dont know said cheesy i am scared

it will be just hell for me

when prosperity returns with an open job

on every four corners

listen said spike you are plain selfish

dont you know there are a lot of people

in this world who really like to work

cheesy took the canned heat and thought and thought

and thought and thought before he spoke again

i dont believe it he said finally

after all human nature aint that bad

                                    archy 

 

Anyway, I enjoy Don Marquis, and think his books are worth seeking out.