Sunday Thoughts: "We Want a King"

So all the elders of Israel gathered together and came to Samuel at Ramah.  They said to him, “You are old, and your sons do not follow your ways; now appoint a king to lead us, such as all the other nations have.”

 But when they said, “Give us a king to lead us,” this displeased Samuel; so he prayed to the Lord.  And the Lord told him: “Listen to all that the people are saying to you; it is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king.  As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you.  Now listen to them; but warn them solemnly and let them know what the king who will reign over them will claim as his rights.”

Samuel told all the words of the Lord to the people who were asking him for a king. He said, “This is what the king who will reign over you will claim as his rights: He will take your sons and make them serve with his chariots and horses, and they will run in front of his chariots. Some he will assign to be commanders of thousands and commanders of fifties, and others to plow his ground and reap his harvest, and still others to make weapons of war and equipment for his chariots. He will take your daughters to be perfumers and cooks and bakers. He will take the best of your fields and vineyards and olive groves and give them to his attendants. He will take a tenth of your grain and of your vintage and give it to his officials and attendants. Your male and female servants and the best of your cattle and donkeys he will take for his own use. He will take a tenth of your flocks, and you yourselves will become his slaves. When that day comes, you will cry out for relief from the king you have chosen, but the Lord will not answer you in that day.”

But the people refused to listen to Samuel. “No!” they said. “We want a king over us. Then we will be like all the other nations, with a king to lead us and to go out before us and fight our battles.”

When Samuel heard all that the people said, he repeated it before the Lord. The Lord answered, “Listen to them and give them a king.” (I Samuel 8) 

***

In thinking about the way that politics have co-opted American Christianity, I have been struck by a few things. 

First, I was raised in a faith community that instilled in me a love for the Bible and taught me innumerable lessons from it for decades. Yet somehow, they - particularly the Baby Boomer generation - seems to have forgotten the very lessons they taught me. 

Second, as I have pointed out in previous “Sunday Thoughts,” (on my facebook page) white evangelicals in particular treat Trump as if he were a god, not a mortal. And they believe that he provides them with a certain something that they cannot get from anyone else. (Otherwise, they would have supported impeachment of Trump - because they could have had Pence as president - someone supposedly one of them.) 

I believe that this passage in I Samuel is particularly illuminating as to the dynamic here - and also troubling in its implications. 

Like so many stories in the Bible, this one saves the most important part until the end. This is something I have noticed in both the parables of Christ and in so many of the stories in the Old Testament. The writers of the Bible were, if nothing else, experts at the art of the story, and this is no exception. 

Let’s dive in:

First, the problem starts with the corrupt children of Eli, the high priest and Israel’s last “Judge.” But I believe that this, while relevant, isn’t the most important part. After all, pretty much every Judge died and the next generation made a royal mess of things - if the judge himself didn’t do that first. So why a king? 

I believe there are two answers to this question. The first is repeated twice - at the beginning and the end - and I believe it is crucial to understanding this story. I remember being taught this as a kid, and subsequently in Sunday School or church my whole lifetime. 

“We want a king like every other nation has.” 

They wanted to be like every other nation. I was taught that this was a wrong, evil desire. The people of God are to be different from every other nation. Israel should have been content to follow God without needing a powerful authority to take the places of God in their nation. And likewise, the Church - the Kingdom of God on earth - was to have different values and structure than other human institutions. 

I believe, however, that the way to understand this first part of the answer is to understand the second part of the answer:

“We want a king to go out and fight our battles.”

They wanted someone to beat up the enemy. They thought that by having a strong leader who hated the people they hated, they could finally “win” over their enemies. Hey, the other nations make war as a matter of course. Why couldn’t Israel do it too, and make their own empire? 

I think to understand why evangelicals - and white evangelicals in particular - want a king, and thus why they worship Trump, you have to understand that they want someone to fight their “enemies” for them. 

Because Trump very much fulfils that wish. He is indeed aggressive and violent and nasty toward various groups of people, and (in my experience) a solid majority of white evangelicals love that about him. He does indeed lead them into battle against their enemies. 

As Ben Howe put it:

"The more he fights, the more they feel justified, like, He’s our hero because we needed someone to do this for us. Trump’s appeal is not judges. It’s not policies. It’s that he’s a shit-talker and a fighter and tells it like it is. That’s what they like. They love the meanest parts of him.”

Which begs the question: who are their enemies?

This is a partial list:

1. “Liberals” - meaning people who do not vote Republican, obviously, but particularly people who believe in freedom and access to society for everyone, not just evangelicals. (See below.) This also includes a lot of Christians with different beliefs than theirs, which is why I am definitely on the “enemy” list these days. Although the reasons we left organized religion are many, it was obvious that we were no longer welcome if we spoke out against Trump. 

2. LGBTQ people. Not much explanation needed here. Evangelicals want the right to persecute gay people, with no consequences.

3. Scientists. Evangelicals have been waging a jihad against science ever since it first challenged their belief in biblical literalism.  

4. Immigrants and non-whites. And yes, white evangelicals get furious with me for pointing out the obvious. But their words (and posts online) betray them. They want millions of people deported. They want a wall. They want a change to dramatically reduce legal immigration. And they don’t think we have any moral duty to take in refugees. (James Dobson is, unfortunately, par for the course for evangelicals.) White evangelicals are also the one group most likely to think racism is no longer a problem in our country - or if it is, it is racism against white people. And again, it isn’t close. I wish I could believe otherwise, but so many in my life, including extended family – people I thought were better than that – weren’t.

5. The poor and vulnerable. Evangelical politics right now are social darwinist. Full stop. There is no other group in our nation so intent on grinding the faces of the poor. And I believe this is related to the endemic racism. There is a history of associating certain social programs that literally every first world country (and an increasing number in the third world) have with “taking money from white people who earned it and giving it to lazy brown-skinned people.” And with the Covid-19 pandemic, it appears that anyone vulnerable to dying is in this category now. 

6. People with different religious beliefs. So certainly Muslims. But also “liberal” Christians too. And the sort of Catholics who speak Spanish. And so on. 

7. Young people. This is increasingly obvious. Facing a demographic bloodbath, evangelicals cannot conceal their contempt for “millennials,” by which they often mean Gen Z. And as far as political policies, they have sold their grandchildren’s future for political power now.

So, it becomes clear that Trump is very much the sort of “king” who will fight the “enemies” of evangelicals. 

He makes no pretense of being the president for all of America - he only serves his voters. (And his ego, of course.) He constantly attacks the other side with vicious language and slander about their motives. 

He has taken positive steps to persecute LGBTQ people, and promises more, in the form of “religious freedom” to persecute in the name of god. 

He is aggressively anti-science, both in rhetoric and in policies. That his policies are to open the earth to catastrophic exploitation by the ultra-rich does not trouble evangelicals, because they believe that god will just destroy the earth any day now, so who cares what we do with it now. 

He is (and this is not even remotely arguable) viciously anti-immigrant, anti-minority, and white supremacist. The only people who seem unable to see or admit this are...evangelicals. The KKK certainly has no illusions - they trumpet how great Trump is for their cause. (“Hail Trump! Hail Our People!” [Nazi salute]) 

He has done more than any other president in my lifetime to try to strip food and healthcare from the bottom 50% of our population. He shows contempt for anyone who is struggling financially. He sees no point in a living wage, public healthcare, or food stamps. He has zero empathy for people who lack his privilege. And he has enacted the greatest transfer of wealth to the ultra-rich in 100 years. 

And, of course, the Muslim ban, the non-stop rhetoric against non-evangelicals combined with his promise to give evangelicals special treatment. 

Even when it comes to young people, all that Trump offers is contempt. 

It’s all there. White Evangelicals hate a lot of people, unfortunately. And Trump hates them too. And is willing to lead them into battle against those enemies. Which is the number one reason they forgive his faults and defend the indefensible.

I guess that sounds good if you are on the “winning” side. But not so much for the rest of us.

There is more to the story, of course. The Israelites got Saul, a tall, blustering bully. A guy who refused to listen to wise advice, believed he knew better, got the nation into never-ending and catastrophic war with its neighbors, got in trouble for hoarding the spoils of war, went crazy and started tweeting saying a bunch of nutty stuff, and eventually caused mass disaster to his nation. 

It didn’t end well. 

***

Just a final thought: it seems to me that white Evangelicals have basically given up on the idea of making converts by persuasion. Whether it is the appeal of cults like Gothardism that promise that your kids will be political and cultural clones of their parents, or the enthusiastic embrace of King Donald, there is no belief that Evangelicalism might, you know, convince outsiders to join them. This isn’t exactly wrong: nobody who isn’t already an Evangelical has any interest in becoming one. And that goes double for us ex-evangelicals. 

And that is the point. What decent person would want to embrace the hate and violence and anger that Evangelicalism is so full of right now? What compassionate person would want to give up their desire to care for immigrants, refugees, the poor, the sick, and the vulnerable? What reasonable person would want to decide that those they love and interact with every day are suddenly “the enemy”? For that matter, who would want to go from considering humanity to be one species that thrives on cooperation and caretaking to believing most other humans are an evil enemy to be defeated and destroyed? 

That is why I expect that as Evangelicalism faces catastrophic collapse (as the Boomers die off), it will get more and more hateful, and more and more shrill - and alienate even more people.

Hidden in the account above is another telling statement - this one from God speaking to Samuel:

[I]t is not you they have rejected, but they have rejected me as their king. As they have done from the day I brought them up out of Egypt until this day, forsaking me and serving other gods, so they are doing to you.

It’s sad to see, but the tragedy of white Evangelicalism is the natural result of rejecting a religion of following Christ in humility and love for one’s neighbor in favor of a king to lead one into battle against the enemy. Asking for a king isn’t just a bad idea: it is IDOLATRY. Ultimately, this is the heart of the issue. In following Trump, evangelicals have forsaken any pretense of following Christ. You cannot do both. 

Evangelicals - particularly the white ones.

Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett

Source of book: Audiobook borrowed from my brother

Ah yes, time for another Discworld audiobook to make the miles go by quickly. Unseen Academicals is the 37th Discworld novel, and the last in the Rincewind/wizards series. However, I think that it stands alone reasonably well as long as the reader knows some basic Discworld realities, and is familiar with the Unseen University denizens. We previously read or listened to the first four Rincewind novels, so it was no problem to pick up the story. 

The basic setup of the plot is this: it comes to the attention of the indolent and incompetent faculty of Unseen University that a rather large bequest (which enables their indolent lifestyle and lavish feasting) is contingent on the university fielding a football (soccer, for Americans…) team. This is problematic both because of the general lack of athleticism of the faculty and students, and because football in Ankh-Morpork is mob football, an often fatal and always violent enterprise. 

To solve this conundrum, the wizards join forces with Lord Vetinari (the Machiavellian ideal of a dictator - and I mean that in a good way...mostly), who wishes to regulate and civilize the sport. In order to do this, new rules need to be invented, and then promulgated in a way that will be accepted by the mob football traditionalists. The Archchancellor, Mustrum Ridcully, who is pretty much incompetent at everything, nominates Ponder Stibbons to figure things out. 

Stibbons is an interesting character in the series. He is arguably the only truly competent faculty member other than the Librarian, and has created a rudimentary artificial intelligence, HEX, using ants and rats and other things. Over the years, he has accumulated a plethora of titles, until he basically runs the university. An interesting side note here is that Stibbons cannot grow a beard, and looks - in the illustrations - more than a bit like...Harry Potter. Since the Discworld books - including the illustrations - came out years before Potter, any “borrowing” must have been done by J. K. Rowling. And Ponder, Potter, hmm…

Draw your own conclusions...

Since this is Terry Pratchett, it is easy to guess that hilarity will ensue. And it definitely does. Much of the book is a parody of football culture, from its mob days to its modern English Premier League incarnation. Pratchett also pokes fun at university sports culture, ludicrous ancient rituals at said colleges, and sports interview cliches. But that isn’t all. At its core, the book is about belonging - inclusion and exclusion. Along with that comes a pointed look at the generational trauma of slavery and colonialism, the dynamics of bullying, prejudice, and more. Oh, and then you have the parodies of Romeo and Juliet, the fashion industry, and psychology. Whew! It’s quite a ride, and there are so very many pithy quotes. 

So how did it get there from football? Well, a university doesn’t run on magic alone. It takes a large staff to keep the candles lit, the wizards fed, and the place reasonably clean. The basement servants’ quarters are full of people too, including some of Pratchett’s best characters. The genius (Lord Vetinari’s words) of the kitchen is Glenda Sugarbean, a kindhearted if a bit daunting woman, who rules all things culinary in the university. She fiercely looks out for Juliet, a gorgeous but not particularly bright young woman entrusted to her care. (Juliet’s parents are more interested in drinking away her earnings.) Also downstairs are Trevor Likely, in love with Juliet, and brilliant footballer; and Mr. Nutt, an odd character of mysterious background. Ah yes, Mr. Nutt. He is a savant, highly educated, and looks kind of like a goblin. He is obsessed with “attaining worth,” and thus works exceedingly hard. It is he who ends up with the job of coaching the football team. It turns out that Nutt spent his formative years chained to an anvil, before being freed and educated by Lady Margolatta. Also, he is an orc, which he has to discover through psychoanalysis. 

Orcs, as any fantasy fan would know, are not goblins, although they can be similar. While goblins occur in nature, orcs were created to be fighting machines. In the Discworld universe, they were created by the eagles to supply a sentient weapon for the armies back in the days of the Evil Empire. But they were not made from goblins. As Lady Margolotta (who has protected the few remaining orcs after they were slaughtered for being an inconvenient reminder of the past) puts it, “But the Orcs were made from men, you know, not goblins.” Vetinari replies, “No. However, now that you tell me it, it’s patently obvious. Goblins would not have been nearly ferocious enough.” 

The book thus centers around two sets of characters. The wizards try to figure out how to field a football team and keep their feasts going. Oh, and feud with a neighboring university. At the same time, Glenda, Juliet, Trevor, and Nutt have their own challenges and adventures. They overlap and combine, of course, with football at the core. 

Juliet becomes a model for Dwarf fashions (that’s as amusing as it sounds), Trevor is torn between his promise to his late Mum that he would never play football and his obvious skills, Nutt seeks to understand himself and become worthy, and Glenda has to be the mastermind keeping the rest out of trouble. 

Here are the quotes I liked the best, starting with this exchange between Lord Vetinari and his secretary: 

“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."

Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”

By this point in the series, Vetinari has become one of the best characters, with shrewd powers of observation, and a knack for soft politics that seems missing in our own time. He is the first to identify Glenda as the brilliant person she is, and his handling of a very volatile situation surrounding football is politics at its best. 

Near the end, he finally lets down his guard for a second, in a rather interesting scene. Lady Margolotta is pretty shrewd herself, but she also has the blindness of one who is used to being the benevolent benefactor. With her inherited wealth and title, she doesn’t see underlings as equals, so she is condescending to Nutt, even as she does him immense good. She totally underestimates Glenda. Vetinari finds this amusing, because while he may or may not have the book learning Margolotta does, he has years of avoiding assassination, and thus reads people extremely well. At the end of the book, she asks Nutt if he is willing to go meet others of his kind and raise them up from the degradation they have suffered. 

“Many bad things were done under the Evil Empire" she said. "The best we can do now is undo them. Will you assist in this endeavor?"

"In every way that I can" said Nutt.

"I would like you to teach them civilized behavior," said Ladyship coldly.

He appeared to consider this. "Yes, of course, I think, that would be quite possible," he said. "And who would you send to teach the humans?"

There was a brief outburst of laughter from Vetinari, who immediately cupped his hand over his mouth. "Oh I do beg your pardon," he said.” 

There is more than a little of the charity woman in this portrayal. You know, the missionary spirit: go “civilize” the “savages” in the third world. The great white savior complex, so to speak - memorably portrayed by Harrison Ford in the somewhat obscure movie Mosquito Coast. Like Nutt, I often ask myself who will come teach Americans how to be decent, moral, Christian people. Because we sure need it. On a related note:

“Juliet's version of cleanliness was next to godliness, which was to say it was erratic, past all understanding and was seldom seen.”

I’ve spent much of my life around that kind of “godliness.” For that matter, how about this bit from Vetinari, perhaps channelling Darwin? 

“The Patrician took a sip of his beer. “I have told this to few people, gentlemen, and I suspect I never will again, but one day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I’m sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged on to a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters, who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature’s wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining on mother and children. And that’s when I first learned about evil. It is built into the nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior.” 

Something to think about, in any case, whatever your belief about the Divine. 

Oh, and here is another Vetinari gem:

“Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as a period of time to allow for preparation for the next war.”

On a rather lighter note, how about this one? 

“It is considered in the Sto Plains that only scoundrels know the second verse of their national anthem, since anyone spending time memorizing that would be up to no good purpose.”

Of course, it is our third verse of the national anthem that is quite problematic - the one talking about how the slaves who sought refuge with the British would be slaughtered. Not good. But the quote is quite amusing. And probably true. 

'Oh, you know the sort of thing if you read the papers a lot,' said Ponder. 'I seriously think they think that it is their job to calm people down by first of all explaining why they should be overexcited and very worried.’

A good bit to that one too. 

Poetry fans (or haters) will appreciate this one:

“Nutt was technically an expert on love poetry throughout the ages and had discussed it at length with Miss Healstether, the castle librarian. He had also tried to discuss it with Ladyship, but she had laughed and said it was frivolity, although quite helpful as a tutorial on the use of vocabulary, scansion, rhythm and affect as a means to an end, to wit getting a young lady to take all her clothes off. At that particular point, Nutt had not really understood what she meant. It sounded like some sort of conjuring trick.”

As usual, Pratchett is brilliant when discussing prejudice. All the things that “everybody knows” but also are not true. Things like “orcs eat people” or pretty much anything that comes out of Donald Trump’s mouth about non-whites. It is when we fool ourselves into believing these untrue things - and acting on them - that we cause great damage to the world. 

“Sometimes people fool themselves into believing things that aren't true. Sometimes that can be quite dangerous for the person. They see the world in a wrong way. They won't let themselves see that what they believe is wrong. But often there is a part of the mind that does know, and the right words can let it out.” 

There are so many more great moments. The ludicrous German titles of Discworld psychology books. The many references to literature where famous lines are warped into parodies. The naughty references which go completely over Juliet’s head. Oh, and Pepe. I can’t forget him - the street urchin re-made as a flamboyant pseudo-French assistant to the Dwarf fashionista. 

I could go on and on. But anyway, this is a hilarious book, full of “Easter Eggs” for the literary sorts, and moral and empathetic to its core. We love Terry Pratchett around here, and I only regret that I didn’t discover him until I was in my late thirties. 

This audiobook was narrated by the delightful Stephen Briggs. We also like Nigel Planer, who is more likely to be on the earlier books than the later ones. I wouldn’t start with this book if you are new to Discworld, but definitely come back and read it after getting your bearings. 

***

The Discworld Wiki is a good source for understanding the references and the world itself. 

For information about reading order and how things connect, this page is helpful.

***

The Terry Pratchett list:

Rincewind:

The Colour of Magic

The Light Fantastic

Sourcery

Faust Eric

Tiffany Aching:

The Wee Free Men

A Hat Full of Sky

Wintersmith

I Shall Wear Midnight

Witches:

Equal Rites

Watch:

Guards! Guards! (Stupid abridged edition, which is an abomination.)

Non-Discworld:

The Carpet People

Dodger

Dragons at Crumbling Castle

Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman)