The Strictest School in the World by Howard Whitehouse

Source of book: We own this

 

Quite a number of years ago, we got this series of books for our older kids on the recommendation of a friend. They enjoyed them, but I never ended up reading them. Since my youngest still likes being read to, she requested we read this one. 

 

The Strictest School in the World is a silly, sometimes slapstick, British school tale. Fourteen year old Emmaline is sent to live with her aunt, the rather daft and hippie but kind, Aunt Lucy, who feeds her on bizarre natural foods (including slugs and other creepy crawlies.) There, she becomes friends with a boy, Robert Burns, aka Rab, aka “Rubberbones” for his ability to fall without getting hurt. The two of them, with the support of Aunt Lucy, and the assistance of her butler, Lal Singh, experiment making gliders. 

 

This comes to a sudden end when Emmaline’s mother enrolls her at St. Grimelda’s, a boarding school with a strict reputation, and a nasty headmistress. Oh, and trained pterodactyls, although nobody is supposed to know about that. 

 

Emmaline is predictably miserable, and wants to escape, but all letters are censored, visits are not allowed, and nobody has ever successfully escaped. 

 

Sensing something wrong, Aunt Lucy packs up Rubberbones, Lal Singh, and the vicar’s dog, and heads out to do, well, something. Joining them in their scheme is a retired Confederate officer who has turned mad scientist and inventor, the local gypsy band, and a half-blind old man, who is out to hunt those giant crows from the school. 

 

Helping Emmaline from within is Josie, a large and athletic girl who will graduate soon and is the only student who isn’t afraid of the staff, and an unknown girl who helps her secretly. Oh, and there is also a foreign princess (from a made-up country near India) who is ready to disembowel anyone who stands in her way of escape. 

 

The book is definitely intended to be silly and over-the-top, so best not to hope for any sort of realism, although magic is strictly out of the question. The humor (and there is plenty) ranges from some pretty funny and higher class puns and historical references to good old slapstick. My kid laughed a lot. 

 

There is no point in spoiling the plot, but there are some rather fun episodes. Like the one involving a village football game. Let’s just say that “soccer hooligan” has historical roots. And, like any slapstick book, it needs to have a proper wheeled contraption going far too fast and having a spectacular crash. It’s in the rulebook. 

 The Trilocipede...

The book is from 2006, and I have to remind myself that this was nearly 20 years ago. I know it is not just British books from this era, but the Harry Potter series also suffers from what seem like lazy colonialist stereotypes. And by that, I don’t mean the sort of issues books a generation before that have, where the non-white characters are either left in the background, or serve only certain roles in the lives of the central white characters. More, it is that in writing about a past era, the issues of race are neatly glossed or ignored. And, of course, the use of “gypsy” would not fly today, even if the characters themselves are portrayed rather well, with the usual stereotypes undermined intentionally. 

 

I guess in part, how does one write a goofy comedy about the England of over 100 years ago? Do you (like so many older books) just pretend only white people existed? Or do you have a token Indian butler (or in America, a mammy)? Do you attempt to make the non-white characters important to the story and have three-dimensional characters, yet ignore the issues that those characters would face in a British society of the era? That last approach is the one the book takes. 

 

I kind of hate to go that direction in a review of a very funny book that is really more of an alternative universe than a realistic portrayal of Victorian England. And one that actually does try to subvert the expectations of stereotype. But today’s kids are more perceptive on these issues, so expect a conversation or two. 

 

The illustrations in the book, by Bill Slavin, are wonderful throwback style line drawings, and are every bit as funny as the story. I have no idea if there is an audiobook, but I would recommend finding a print version for the illustrations.