Source of book: Borrowed from the
library
I previously read another book by
Caitlin Doughty, Will
My Cat Eat My Eyeballs? This book, From Here to Eternity, (not
to be confused with the classic of the same title by James Jones) is likewise
about death and bodies, but with a different focus. The other book (which I
also recommend) is more about answering questions children (and others) have
about death an decay, this one is all about exploring alternatives to the
ludicrous funeral industry we have here in the Western world.
Thus, the book takes the author
from a natural funeral pyre in Colorado to the preserved skulls in Bolivia -
and a lot of places in between.
Doughty runs her own funeral home,
so she is an insider on all of this. She is also a rebel, advocating strongly
for a better approach to death and decay than the expensive, environmentally
awful, and death-denialist approach we currently have.
Central to this idea is that by
separating us from death and dead bodies, we interrupt the grieving process and
create greater fear of death - which is the most natural part of living, if you
think about it.
I discuss this more in my review
of Doughty’s other book, so you might read that one for more.
As Doughty explores the rituals of
other cultures, she notes that there is a long and sordid history of
denigrating differences. Throughout the book, she is respectful and thoughtful.
And occasionally sarcastic.
I have come to believe that the
merits of a death custom are not based on Mathematics (e.g. 36.7 percent a
“barbarous act”), but on emotions, a belief in the unique nobility of one’s own
culture. That is to say, we consider death rituals savage only when they don’t
match our own.
Throughout her journey around the
world, she meets up with strange characters. One of those is Dr. Paul
Koudounaris, who is described in the book as “an eighteenth-century highwayman
reimagined by Tim Burton,” and self-described as “a cross between Prince and
Vlad the Impaler.”
In describing the elaborate
rituals in an area of Indonesia honoring the dead, she has a great quip.
All of these rituals might seem
complicated, but Agus claimed they have actually become far less so. His
parents were born into the animistic Aluk religion, but his father converted to
Catholicism at age sixteen. Agus gave his theory: “There are 7,777 rituals in
Aluk. People left because it got too complicated.” Catholicism hardly seems the
place to go for fewer complicated rituals, but there you go.
And likewise on first seeing the
mummies:
The first mummy I saw wore
eighties’ style aviator sunglasses with yellow-tinted frames.
“Damn,” I thought, “that guy looks
like my middle school algebra teacher.”
Doughty muses on why Westerners go
through all the trouble of embalming, but then freak out about the regularly
tended mummies.
The villagers in this region of
Toraja are amateur taxidermists of the human body. Given that the Torajans now
use similar chemical formulas as North Americans to mummify their dead, I
wondered why Westerners are so horrified at the practice. Perhaps it is not the
extreme preservation that offends. Rather, it is that a Torajan body doesn’t
sequester itself in a sealed casket, walled in a cement fortress underneath the
earth, but instead dares to hang around among the living. Which raises the
question, why preserve the body so intensely if you’re not planning to
keep it around, America?
Unsurprisingly, the book talks
about the Dias de los Muertos celebration in Mexico. It apparently made its
return to prominence in more modern times as a protest against the Americanized
celebration of Halloween, and as a protest against injustice.
These groups adopted Dias de los
Muertos to mourn for those kept from the public eye, including sex workers,
indigenous and gay rights groups, and Mexicans who died trying to cross the
border to the U.S. In the last forty years, Dias de los Muertos has come to
represent popular culture, tourist culture, and protest culture throughout
Mexico. And Mexico is viewed as a world leader in practicing engaged, public
grief.
I will mention here my post
on reclaiming Halloween from my fundamentalist childhood, and the lovely
experience the kids and I had a few years ago at the local Dias de los Muertos
celebration.
As part of the discussion of the
closure and complete grief that comes with rituals such as Dias de los Muertos,
Doughty tells the story of a woman who went through hell to terminate a
non-viable pregnancy, whose combined trauma of the event and the loss of a
wanted child led her several years later to participate, which helped her find
peace.
“One particularly vile woman
screamed over and over that I was a murderer. I couldn’t take it, so I walked
directly up to her and screamed in her face, ‘My baby is already dead! How dare
you!’”
I was raised in the subculture
that believed abortion was always murder. There were several factors that made
me change my mind, and come to oppose all forced gestation. One of those
moments was meeting a local woman who was the most vocal protester of Planned
Parenthood here in my city. I have never before in my life met a more vile,
evil, self-righteous, hateful monster of a woman than her. Even though I still
(at the time) agreed with her basic political position, I was creeped the hell
out. I swear you could smell the sulphur and brimstone. It was then that I
realized that the anti-abortion industrial complex drew the worst possible
people, the ones who needed vulnerable younger women to take their hate and
rageful self-loathing out on. Just disgusting.
Moving on to something more
uplifting, the chapter on a North Carolina composting operation (using donated
bodies), experimenting on the quickest and surest way to quickly compost a body
of any sort, is quite fascinating. Honestly, if I were to have my choice, I
think this would be the most environmentally friendly way for my mortal remains
to return to the ecosystem.
A particularly hilarious line is
about the fencing “to keep out the curious, which include coyotes, bears, and
drunk college students.”
Of course, any well-meaning,
useful endeavor will find itself attacked by “influencers” looking for clicks
by lying about what is going on. No surprise, then, that the operation was
attached by an online blogger for being “used by the government to greenwash
mass murder.” No points if you guessed this guy was also an anti-vaxxer, a 9/11
truther, and denied that the Sandy Hook shooting was real.
This line was also interesting:
Katrina looks to this portion of
the process, when the water is poured on top of the mound, as a future ritual.
She doesn’t want the Urban Death Project facilities to share modern
crematories’ allergy to family involvement. She hopes pouring the water on
fresh woodchips will give the family the same sense of power as lighting the
cremation pyre, pushing the button to start a modern cremation machine, or
shoveling dirt onto the coffin. As we poured water onto Frank’s mound, it felt
like ritual.
Not all of the funerals she visits
are old school. She also visits hypermodern mausoleums and funeral homes in
Japan and Spain. She describes the look of the one in Spain:
By contrast, the Altima funeral
home, in Barcelona, is Google-headquarters-meets-Church-of-Scientology. It is
minimalist, hypermodern, projecting the potential for cultlike activity.
In this case, bodies are put on
display behind clear glass, rather than in coffins. As she quips in the book,
but not out loud:
“By putting them behind the glass
like a zoo exhibit? What trouble are the corpses planning on causing,
exactly?"
In the chapter on Japan, she
discusses the suicide culture. As an observation, she contrasts the Western
view of suicide as a selfish act - a sin - whereas the cultural meaning of
suicide in Japanese culture is a selfless act, sparing others the burden. Here
again, she snarks a bit:
In the Judeo-Christian view - and
thus, the dominant Western view - to die by suicide is a sinful, selfish act.
This perception has been slow to fade, though the science is clear that suicide
has root causes in diagnosable mental disorders and substance abuse. (“Sin”
does not qualify for the DSM-5)
There is a fun digression in this
chapter as well. Because of limited land in cities for cemeteries, there has
been a renewed use of vertical space. This was actually proposed back in the
1820s, but rejected at the time. Doughty uses this to note a patent filed in
1983 for a “camera extender.” Alas, the patent expired in 2003….before the
Selfie Stick became popular. The inventor could have been rich.
One of the weirdest chapters is
about Bolivia, where well-preserved skulls (often with skin and hair) - natita
- are prayed to. And sure, it seems weird, but even weirder is the fact
that the Catholic church has been engaged in a long-standing war over them.
Worshipers, who syncretize the religion with older traditions (like literally
every religion ever), want the natita’s blessed.
Doughty makes the connection that
seems obvious once you hear it, but that I hadn’t drawn:
Bolivia is not the only place
where skulls have connected believers to the divine. The irony behind the
Church’s disdain for the practice is that European Catholics have used saintly
relics and bones as intermediaries for more than a thousand years. The natitas
were similar in purpose to other skulls I had met several years earlier, on a
trip to Naples, Italy.
Again, the line at the beginning:
our rituals are sacred, yours are barbaric and evil. Just something to think
about.
Another thing to think about, that
Doughty notes: the Catholic Church - and indeed pretty much all conservative
religious groups - limit the role of intermediary between worshippers and the
divine to males. She notes (and cites scholarly research) that relics and other
physical objects used for access to the sacred were popular with women “to
seize direct access to the divine from the hands of the male leaders” of
religion.
Really, if you think about it,
nothing frightens the leaders of organized religion more than the idea that
there is no mediator between humans and the divine, and that all of us
can access the divine just fine for ourselves, without having to submit to the
hierarchy of church authority. It particularly scares them when women
can do so without men to tell them what to do.
I’ll end with a great line from
the epilogue.
Death avoidance is not an individual failing; it’s a cultural
one. Facing death is not for the faint-hearted. It is far too challenging to
expect that each citizen will do so on his or her own. Death acceptance is the
responsibility of all death professionals - funeral directors, cemetery
managers, hospital workers. It is the responsibility of those who have been
tasked with creating physical and emotional environments where safe, open
interaction with death and dead bodies is possible.
I don’t have answers to the
cultural problem here. As I noted in my review of her other book, the most
religiously devout people fear death the most. Maybe religion attracts those
afraid of death? Maybe religion is doing a terrible job of managing grief? Or
maybe religion offers an illusion of control?
Whatever the case, our current
practices are pretty terrible, and Doughty makes a strong case for positive
change.
I should also mention the delightful illustrations by Landis Blair. Doughty has
a knack for pairing great illustrations with her books.
I believe this is Algebra Teacher Guy...