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Friday, May 10, 2024

Don Wildmon is Dead: the Hate Group We Left Our Church to Avoid

It is hard to believe that it has been more than seven years since me and my family participated in organized religion (except for a few paid gigs I did for a local Catholic church), but here we are. While Trump and the realization that Trump, more than anyone, represented the real values of American white “christianity” are the reason we have not attempted to find a church home, and likely never will, the reason we left our longtime church family was more personal. 

 

This post is part of my series, “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” - about the false prophets who have finally died, and are thus less able to harm others. They now find out if the hell they preached is real or not. 

 

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Don Wildmon is known as the founder of the American Family Association. This is a classic example of Evangelical “Newspeak” - the organization was not about families, but about extreme right-wing politics, white supremacy, hatred toward LGBTQ people, hatred toward immigrants and people of color, and the subordination of women. 

 

The AFA is designated by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a hate group - and they THOROUGHLY deserve it. You can get a taste on the SPLC website here. Hate speech isn’t just an opinion, it has specific elements. It tells lies about a marginalized group, stirs up fear and hatred against that group, and advocates for violence against that group, either personally or through government policies that harm that group. 

 

I wrote a post about that back in 2017, the year we left the church.  

 

So, Don Wildmon was the founder, but for the last few decades, the group has been run by his son Tim, and by professional hate-monger, Bryan Fisher, who may be one of the most vile wastes of carbon-based life that has ever existed – he seems literally made of hate. He’s pretty much Nathan Bedford Forrest come back to life, but with even more desire to kill gay and transgender people. 

 

You can also read the Obit by Americans United for Separation of Church and State

 

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The way this went down in our church was that a certain member and leader was really into the group, and kept promoting it at church meetings. Another member, who has a gay son, objected on the grounds that the AFA is essentially the KKK regarding LGBTQ people - they advocate for criminalization and even execution of gay people. 

 

I was consulted about the issue, and I put together an extensive (and documented) list of all of the terrible things that the AFA has promoted over the years, from nasty racial stereotypes to lies about history (Hitler and the Nazis were not gay as the AFA claims, they exterminated gays. The AFA literally blames the Holocaust on homosexuality), to their pro-fascist politics. 

 

I thought that had resolved things, but a few years later, guess what? The AFA was being secretly promoted in our kids’ Sunday School behind our backs. And we found out our pastor not only knew, but made the decision to keep it on the down low, knowing I and others would object. 

 

Ultimately, this was at the heart of why we decided to leave - I do not tolerate being lied to like that, and I think the politics of hate have no place in church. Clearly I am in the minority, and most of the people like me that I know have left or been forced out of their churches as well. 

 

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After we left, some friends asked me about why, and, after some discussion, I agreed to put together a thorough list of my problems with the AFA. I spent hours on the project, including many on Right Wing Watch listening through clips of the AFA radio program - that site (by People for the American Way) carefully preserved primary source evidence of every single one of their hate-vomits over decades. 

 

It was a sickening experience. The AFA was even worse than I expected. I pulled together a list of the typical examples of hate, and sent a response. Unfortunately, it appeared to have fallen on deaf ears, and they later unfriended me after I pointed out their silence when other church members slandered immigrants and people of color. (It turned out they were also pretty xenophobic, which is so sad to me.)

 

***

 

Anyway, with some corrections, edits, and redactions, here are the key parts of my response, which will serve as a good summary of why the AFA is a hate group. 

 

Having recently read A Fever in the Heartland, it is even more clear to me that the AFA (and other similar “family values” organizations) are nothing more or less than the modern iteration of the Ku Klux Klan - which also sold itself as a “family values” club. 

 

Don Wildmon was (along with notorious Sodomite James Dobson) one of the OGs to do this rebranding of Klan political values as “family values” to sell to white Evangelicals (like my parents, unfortunately) who wished to be racist without sounding racist to others. 

 

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Thanks for your concern. I don’t mind answering questions.

 

This has been part of a long-term, ongoing conversation dating back a number of years. As you well know, [my wife] and I were homeschooled, and while the movement started out with academic concerns in mind, by the time we were in our teens, it became very political and cultural, with an emphasis on taking back political power from the “liberals” and “atheists,” which were expressly defined as the Democrats. We also experienced that a lot of this was driven by patriarchal values. Viewing it from the inside, it was also clear that there was a definite racial component to this thinking as well. 

 

Because of our experiences, we have had zero interest in participating in the culture wars. In our experience and through what we have observed and discovered through research, the culture wars are expressly political. At a minimum, they are about using power to force specific religious behaviors on people who do not share the beliefs. Sometimes, this is done through the wielding of economic power, but often it is done through lobbying for the use of the police power of the state to enforce religious rules. As such, the culture wars are by definition political. With politics comes propaganda - including a number of outright fabrications when it comes to history, sociology, science, and so on. 

 

For years, we have had an ongoing conversation with [our former pastor] to the effect that we were not okay with our children being recruited into the culture wars, and that we expected that politics would not be part of their church experience. 

 

The Christmas Wars became a little over two years ago, when [church leader who promoted the AFA] was distributing those buttons from the American Family Association. [Other church members] (who as you probably know, have a gay son) objected to this, because the AFA is a recognized hate group - basically the KKK when it comes to LGBTQ people. [Former pastor] solicited my opinion about this, and I sent him a long, detailed e-mail - with links to the documentation - about why I believe that the AFA has thoroughly earned its designation as a hate group, and informed him that *I* found it offensive, and was not at all okay with my kids being part of that. 

 

The AFA didn’t get to be a hate group for the reasons that [former pastor] claimed later in his rebuttal to my resignation e-mail. The Southern Poverty Law Center doesn’t designate groups as hate groups because of mere political disagreements, but because groups actively inspire hate and harm towards others. In the case of LGBTQ people, the AFA has openly called for the imprisonment and execution of gays on multiple occasions, and lobbies for the use of the police power of the state to enforce religious prohibitions of gay relationships. The AFA also repeats the lie that gays are all child molesters out to get the kids (which is, like lies about racial minorities, calculated to inspire hate and fear - the lies are very similar to the ones told by the KKK about African Americans - and the worst might be that the gays are to blame for the holocaust. There are a lot more too. And that’s before you get into all the misinformation they spread - even Exodus International expressly repudiated a lot of the stuff the AFA promoted.)  So I believe the [other church members] were correct that they are basically the KKK when it comes to gays. 

 

But that isn’t all. As I pointed out to [former pastor] (with documentation), the AFA, and their then-president, Bryan Fischer (who eventually “resigned” but continues to write for them to this day), have a long history of other offensive political positions and statements. I already mentioned his (obviously false) claim that the Nazis were all gay, and that they caused the Holocaust. The AFA has also gone on the record with the claim that religious freedom in the US is for Christians only (and really, certain, ultra-conservative Christians at that), and that we need to keep Muslims out of the country, evict the ones that are here - even if they were born here-  and never let them build mosques or have freedom of worship. 

 

Fischer has also claimed that it was morally justified for Europeans to slaughter and evict the Native Americans, because they weren’t Christian, and wouldn’t assimilate into “Christian” culture. (Meaning, I would guess, white Christian culture.) Actually, he pretty much said that, misstating the tragic story of Pocahontas to have the meaning that Native Americans should have embraced the “superior” white culture. He has also said that diversity and multiculturalism are evil. (I should not even have to explain how horrid this makes my non-white friends and relatives feel…) I mentioned as well that Fischer claimed that the problem with black people is that they go on welfare and “rut like rabbits.” Later he would refer to African Americans as “drug-addled addicts,” which was the only explanation for why they didn’t vote Republican. AFA writer Sandy Rios also said that white people were living in terror of black people, and didn’t dare to ever criticize them. (Don’t make me laugh...have you seen all the Confederate Battle Flags around this town?) 

 

In an article for the AFA website in 2010, Fischer complained about the supposed “feminization” of the US military because the Medal of Honor was being awarded to soldiers who saved their comrades, rather than soldiers who killed people. (This is, I repeat, on the AFA website - not just Fischer’s personal blog and radio show.) 

 

Fischer has been, from the start, hateful toward President Obama, saying at one point that Obama “nurtures this hatred for the United States of America and, I believe, nurtures a hatred for the white man.” Fischer is on the record numerous times as saying that Satan was working through Obama, that Obama had the spirit of the Antichrist, and that he was in league with the devil. 

 

Right before the election, Fischer claimed that the election was a vote about God himself - and only voting for Trump was a vote for God. Fischer also claimed that Satan himself backed Clinton, so no Christian could vote for her. 

 

As far back as 2015, Sandy Rios was on the record in AFA publications saying that Vladimir Putin was promoting God’s way, while Obama was doing the opposite. (Political much? Also, no doubt the AFA was in league with Trump going way back…)

 

Fischer also said on his show that government employees (such as my dad - and presumably you as well as a teacher) should not have the right to vote - because it is a conflict of interest. Well, except for the military. He said soldiers should have the right to vote. He also said that it was not okay for Christians to have differing opinions on such issues as the age of the universe, on healthcare (he opposes the government assisting the poor with anything…), and on the role of government in society. Basically, it is his way, or you are evil. And guns too. Fischer said gun control is Satan’s idea, and another writer (Sandy Rios) said that Trump supporters need AR-15s to defend themselves against Democrats. 

 

Fischer also is an AIDS denialist (claiming that deaths from AIDS aren’t from the HIV virus, but from the effects of gay sex.) 

 

Just recently (although it isn’t the first time), the AFA posted that women who are feminists - and particularly those who marched against the godly president [Trump] that would fight sexual immorality (don’t make me laugh) were really marching against Christ himself. 

 

Another writer (Sandy Rios) for the AFA recently justified [Montana governor] Greg Gianforte’s assault on a news reporter on the grounds that the reporter was a “girly man” and expressed nostalgia for the days when men settled things with their fists rather than the law. Rios also said that feminists live in filth - because they deny their god-ordained duty to clean their houses. (As feminists who share household duties, both [my wife] and I find this highly offensive.) Fischer is on the record as saying that women should not hold political office - that God has reserved leadership in society for men alone. 

 

Anti-immigration rhetoric has also long been a part of the AFA. Fischer went so far as to claim that Christ himself would be in favor of extreme restrictions on immigration - because only a few will get into heaven. Oh, and he denies it now - but there is actual video - that he said opposing the government posting the ten commandments in public buildings makes one an “American Traitor.” Before the election, Fischer said that children who were brought to the US as undocumented immigrants grow up to be “criminals and murderers.” 

 

Right after the election, on AFA radio, current president Tim Wildmon called for “progressives” - which is pretty much anyone not hard-right - to be called “god haters” - and then went on to brag that Trump will fulfill his promise to make everyone say “Merry Christmas” again. 

 

Both the AFA and Fischer have had ongoing connections to white supremacist groups, sharing conferences and guests. They also have promoted conspiracy theories - including that if Obama were reelected in 2012, he would call for martial law and gun down Americans. (Obviously didn’t happen, but AFA writers continue to promote this conspiracy theory.) After the election, Wildmon claimed that it was good that we elected Trump, because Clinton would have criminalized Christianity. Likewise, Sandy Rios claimed Clinton would legalize pedophilia. (These aren’t just stupid theories - they are slander, something Christ warned us about.)

 

In a post after the most recent election, Fischer (who supposedly wasn’t part of the organization any more) wrote a post glorifying and praising Trump, as a warrior for Christianity. 

 

There is no doubt that the AFA is an expressly political group, opposed to freedom of religion, and hostile toward Muslims, non-Whites, and LGBTQ people. I did not want politics to be part of church. (As far as that goes, until 2013, I have tended to vote Republican - it’s not like I am even a liberal, let alone someone who is trying to force the church to the left - I just didn’t want this kind of toxic, confrontational, and hateful politics being taught to my kids.)  I explained this all to [former pastor] two years ago. I thought he understood my point, but apparently not.

 

In any case, his claim that the only reason the AFA is a hate group is that it is opposed to gay marriage is total hooey. I provided adequate evidence to him to the contrary two years ago. 

 

Back to the Christmas issue. I also, at the time, told [former pastor] I did not approve of the Christmas Wars, and that I saw no need either to antagonize those who said “happy holidays” rather than “merry Christmas” or to teach children that unless our religion was dominant, we were being persecuted by a secularist conspiracy. Both of those are part of the AFA position. It advocates for the boycott of companies who say “happy holidays” rather than “merry Christmas,” and the harassment of clerks who do not grant Christians religious supremacy at Christmastime. 

 

(I also wrote a blog post with more detail about this at the time.) 

 

Nevertheless, a year later, my kids came home after tween group having been taught that “x-mas” is an atheist conspiracy and part of the supposed War on Christmas and Christians. We had to deprogram them from the falsehoods they were taught. (In historical reality, the use of “x” or the Greek “chi” was used as an abbreviation for “Christ” dating back to the first century, and can be found in the writings of the early church fathers and continually since then. I was sincerely considering leaving the church at that point, but [my wife] talked me down. We were going to discuss it with [former pastor], but Nutcracker and some family stuff sucked the time, and we never ended up finding the right time. 

 

Again this last Christmas, the kids were given stuff from the AFA, even after [former pastor] knew I objected. (So did [good friends of ours who ended up leaving at the same time we did], who brought the bracelets to our attention.) As it turned out (and as I noted in my resignation e-mail), this wasn’t an innocent mistake. [Former pastor] knew full well that we objected, but decided to let [AFA promotor] do it anyway, as long as it wasn’t obvious. Basically, the political hate group was fine, as long as I didn’t find out about it. I feel this was intentionally going behind our back on an important issue. 

 

As I noted, this is a long term issue, and it relates to a number of other things I have pushed back on. (Notably the historical revisionism that absolves conservative Christianity from blame for slavery and claims - against all historical evidence - the credit for being on the right side of that issue.) It is inherently a political belief, which justifies certain political positions, particularly as they relate to race and gender, as being inherently “Christian” - and thus justifies both the unquestioning support of one political party and the demonization of those who support the other - or neither. As long as the good outweighed the bad, we tried to stay. But it eventually became clear that one particular political view - an extremely far right one, involving hate groups - was going to be quietly fed to our kids, and those who objected either ignored or outright silenced. 

 

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So there you have it. The AFA is the hate group that severed our relationship with our church, and eventually with organized religion altogether. 

 

It made it clear that there was nothing of Christ-following in American white “christianity” - it was just the KKK with a spray-paint of religiosity over the top. 

 

In retrospect, it was good that we left, and probably should have left early. Within a year, one of our children would come out, first as gay, then as transgender, and would not have been able to maintain a functional relationship with people who refused to accept the existence of our child as the way God made them. 

 

It is kind of interesting, though, how anti-LGBTQ bigotry seems to always go with racism and misogyny. Funny how that works. 

 

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One more I want to add: the AFA has strongly pushed the (thoroughly discredited) idea that kids become gay or trans because of their parenting - usually the fault of the mother, although whether this is because a mother is “too smothering” or “too cold” tends to vary - it usually includes an element that the mother doesn’t model gender performance the right way. This is pretty clearly just scapegoating - they can’t even decide what kind of “bad mothering” is to blame, but in Fundie-world, women are to blame for everything from original sin on down. The AFA is really big into this idea, including the mother-blaming. 

 

By the way, this is one of the things that the now-defunct “conversion therapy” organization, Exodus International, apologized for when it shut down - this slander of parents in blaming them for having LGBTQ kids. 

 

As Exodus noted, there is literally zero scientific evidence for this claim. All it is is an attempt to fill a need to find security in the illusion of control. If gay kids are caused by bad parenting, then you can avoid having one by being a good parent. Or so the theory goes. 

 

It is bunk, however, and the scientific consensus is that genetics are the main factor in whether kids are gay or trans.  

 

My own parents, unfortunately, still believe this shit, and have clearly placed blame on my wife for the fact that we have a transgender child. This is one of the reasons for our estrangement. 

 

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I’ll end with my usual tag to all of my False Prophets posts:

 

So here’s to Don Wildmon. May he find a better mercy than he ever showed to others. 

And he had better be praying hard that the hell he believed in doesn’t exist, because he sure as fuck is burning in there right now if it does.

 









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