tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post511298568356035756..comments2024-03-25T09:01:20.997-07:00Comments on Diary of an Autodidact: Josh Duggar Redux: Modesty/Purity Culture Creates Victims along with PredatorsDiary of an Autodidacthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11849157548643091986noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-38769579292509360862021-05-21T07:26:46.501-07:002021-05-21T07:26:46.501-07:00That last line is spot on. When I teach Women'...That last line is spot on. When I teach Women's and Gender Studies, especially at the Intro level, I always talk about how patriarchy harms men as well. In most communities, codes for performing masculinity tend to be stricter than for femininity. The concept of male privilege has, to many people, an assumption that male have equal to that privilege, which is a huge lie. Patriarchy has some truly terrible ideas/stereotypes about males and their natures that for people-- men and women-- who buy into them will likely develop a sense of toxic masculinity.<br /><br />The Trump era saw a huge increase in sexist bigotry and outright misogyny and MRAs are the gateway drug for the alt-right. Secular Patriarchy is a thing and it is basically just a secular package for women's permanent economic dependence on men in exchange for women's sexual purity before marriage and total fidelity after. There are secular takes on the ideas from DeMoss, Eliot, Schlafly, and others like the shit book The Surrendered Wife. Women are never to correct their husbands, hold an alternate opinion to his (or least express it), she can't initiate sexual relations except via subtle hints like brushing her breasts against him, he controls all aspects of their finances even any income she makes.<br /><br />Systems of privilege and oppression have tenacious, entangled roots and they don't go down easily when so many people come to believe they are entitled to privilege while others believe they deserve lesser treatment because of god or nature made them a lesser vessel. And then there's the people who may not fully believe this shit they endorse; they shuck their jive because there's gold and attention in this submission and dependence rhetoric.L**, Bathtub Fabric Queenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11850512533584110856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-38203094166033373732021-05-09T10:57:15.165-07:002021-05-09T10:57:15.165-07:00Nice to hear from you again, Otming. I love your l...Nice to hear from you again, Otming. I love your last line, which I wholeheartedly agree with. <br /><br />Also, yes, it was us who paid for our parents' religion. In a whole spectrum of ways. Diary of an Autodidacthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11849157548643091986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-72971663091875307272021-05-07T10:17:33.933-07:002021-05-07T10:17:33.933-07:00Thank you, Tim, for this.
I would only add that, ...Thank you, Tim, for this.<br /><br />I would only add that, in my experience, complementarianism is only a little bit older than the Happy Meal (as Fred Clark calls the “biblical doctrine” on abortion). And, again in my experience, it is a very American way of thinking. Though it is also part of British thinking, as you point out (Dorothy Sayers, etc.)<br /><br />Nearly all the women I grew up among – Baptist Eastern European refugees mostly of peasant stock – worked. Grandmas or unrelated older women watched the kids, couples worked different shifts. If you had spent 8+ years first in a war zone, then in a refugee camp, and came to the US with no money, no language, and no skills, every able-bodied human had to pitch in in order to meet basic needs, let alone have a bit of frugal comfort. Every girl of average intelligence and school grades went to college. Their mothers wanted them to have an easier life than working an assembly line or cleaning offices. Only a very few people who had fallen under the spell of American Protestant fundamentalism felt that women belonged solely at home and resented having to work (This, unfortunately, was the case with my family and we kids suffered for it.)<br /><br />It wasn’t until I went to a Christian college that I encountered Bill Gothard. I will never, ever, ever forgive Wheaton for giving him unfettered, uncritical access to the student body. Same for Elisabeth Elliot. Same for Edith Schaeffer and the hidden art of homemaking.<br /><br />To limit women’s control over their own bodies and minds and activities requires either a huge safety net that most people in the world – and many in the US – don’t have, or a willingness to sacrifice children’s present and future to an unbiblical god. A woman without resources and a lot of help cannot possibly meet the needs of many children by herself. To say nothing of her own most basic needs.<br /><br />When people say that a woman who works somehow diminishes her husband, I feel like telling them that the only reason my husband was able to train for the career of his dreams in his late 30’s was because I worked three jobs to put him through graduate school. And the only reason my boy child was able to pursue the career of his dreams was because my work paid for out-of-state and out-of-country tuition. And those are just the big things.<br /><br />Limiting women limits all of humanity, including men.<br />otminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18024428875536064642noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-33402678636851506252021-05-06T15:23:08.143-07:002021-05-06T15:23:08.143-07:00I do believe DeMoss - like Elizabeth Eliot and Phy...I do believe DeMoss - like Elizabeth Eliot and Phyllis Schlafly before her - is a special kind of evil. The kind that enjoys all the benefits of financial independence and a job outside the home, while making a fortune telling my parents' generation that God's priority is keeping women in their place. They place heavy burdens on others that they have NO intention of carrying themselves. Diary of an Autodidacthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11849157548643091986noreply@blogger.com