tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post5266514835040909539..comments2024-03-25T09:01:20.997-07:00Comments on Diary of an Autodidact: Love at First SightDiary of an Autodidacthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11849157548643091986noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-60494418955509023902015-10-01T18:53:28.820-07:002015-10-01T18:53:28.820-07:00Thanks for the links. I'll have to investigat...Thanks for the links. I'll have to investigate further. I'm in the process of modifying my own writings on a number of subjects and this is one that I need to rethink. I never did encourage a one-size-fits-all method as far as I can remember. My view now is that each couple needs to basically do what works for them, within boundaries of Christian decency. That will look different for every couple, and I think it should as part of the mystique of building a singular relationship.<br /><br />By the way, when I want an article and am not sure if it will stay online for any reason I save a PDF. That way I know I have exactly what the original author posted, and if necessary, I can make screen shots for proof if the page is taken down later. My husband has supplied me with a rather large spare drive, so I have no worries on storage.Mary E. Stephenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09206071568335923658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-5932893168005639372015-09-28T16:01:27.798-07:002015-09-28T16:01:27.798-07:00You are right that there are as many flavors of &q...You are right that there are as many flavors of "Courtship" as there are proponents of it. In some ways, that makes it even more difficult for young folk to navigate, because each family may have wildly different expectations. <br /><br />Regarding the quotes, they are (I believe) from The Dangers of Dating, a series that used to be on Lindvall's website. I made copies of quotes at one point for reference, but expected to be able to link them. <br /><br />However, after Doug Phillips went down, the story of Matthew and Maranatha came to light, and Lindvall shut his website down. (He is no longer in the ministry, from what I have been told.) There are references to it online, not least of which is the blog "No Longer Quivering," which has quotes from many of Lindvall's newsletters. You can also find some of his articles on a Yahoo group. Here some links that contain substantially similar language:<br /><br /> https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/BoldChristianLiving/conversations/messages/93<br /><br />https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/BoldChristianLiving/conversations/messages/88<br /><br />https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/BoldChristianLiving/conversations/messages/62<br /><br />https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/BoldChristianLiving/conversations/messages/36<br /><br />Or, if you want really weird, here is his one on "Betrothal for Seniors": <br /><br />https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/BoldChristianLiving/conversations/messages/85<br /><br /><br />I already linked his article on Matthew and Maranatha, which was done for an outside publication, so it is still up. <br /><br />There's a lot more too, if you work your Google a bit. <br /><br />I will also say that I vet all my Lindvall related posts with my wife, who lived through this insanity. These are absolutely what he taught. If anything, I have understated the level of crazy. Diary of an Autodidacthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11849157548643091986noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-64944882859247771992015-09-25T17:50:16.188-07:002015-09-25T17:50:16.188-07:00Nice write up of your story. The Dating Agreement...Nice write up of your story. The Dating Agreement is great! :-) Sounds like your parents had a similar view to what mine did. My family tried a more stringent strain courtship, but it didn't work out well, so my parents relaxed considerably. In fact, they had almost nothing to do with my brothers' relationships other than to offer observations when asked. My husband and I did a bit of stumbling into our relationship as well, but we basically ended up "dating" (by Christian Patriarchy standards), but also visiting in my home a lot and interacting with my family. (His parents were on the missionfield at the time.)<br /><br />I agree with your basic descriptions of courtship and betrothal, but of course, there are many variations upon the theme. The first man we heard actually preach/teach on courtship had a very modified version. His was more of building a relationship under controlled conditions, but he made it clear that he considered it fine to court however many times necessary till you found the right one. Not exactly the antiseptic variety taught by the die-hards, but it left us with a more flexible version - which still didn't work out too impressively in reality, as I said. I don't think any of us ever read the Josh Harris book, which was just as well.<br /><br />It took me awhile to realize the difference between courtship and betrothal since I'd never heard it spelled out in our earlier days. The first time we really ran across betrothal the young couple were betrothed to be married and as we understood it was very binding, and yet, they didn't know each other much if any. (What??) My brother, who knew the family better than I did, understood that they basically courted after they were betrothed. I realize now that this was all supposed to "keep them from giving away pieces of their hearts"; but I thought then, and still do think, it is madness!<br /><br />Recently we ran across one where a young man approached the girl's father and received his permission. He then wrote *unsigned* letters to the young lady so that she would *not know* who it was, and she read them and "prayed about it" to determine if she was willing to marry him or not. I still can't grasp that thought process nor understand how it could feel "comfortable". In this case the young man did turn out to be well-known to the young lady, but what about in cases where he is not?? That gives me the heebie jeebies, as my Gramma would have said. (gag) I'm partly just freaked out by the similarity to unsigned love letters. That was always viewed as kind of creepy in our circles. (But, the Matthew and Marantha story still takes the cake for creep factor.)<br /><br />The money quotes are horrible. I sometimes am dumbstruck... What is your source for those?Mary E. Stephenshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09206071568335923658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-56772812642131702042013-11-20T19:22:00.441-08:002013-11-20T19:22:00.441-08:00:-) :-) Dhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08987975585339485747noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-5378521814004968022013-10-06T13:11:40.352-07:002013-10-06T13:11:40.352-07:00I remember when OBCLers were in Europe and you sho...I remember when OBCLers were in Europe and you showed us Amanda's picture and said something to the effect of "why pick between a smart girl or a pretty girl when you can have both?" You two were meant to be!Amy Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01703068231390465651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-66281889393965372122013-09-25T19:33:55.085-07:002013-09-25T19:33:55.085-07:00I'm using this form. Please don't charge ...I'm using this form. Please don't charge me your normal fees. :-)John H.noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-56832300245065816942013-09-19T23:30:59.780-07:002013-09-19T23:30:59.780-07:00I chucked over the worry of over committing. Total...I chucked over the worry of over committing. Totally! Lanahttp://www.wideopenground.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4051826042602269061.post-33511179605659630272013-09-18T06:54:17.193-07:002013-09-18T06:54:17.193-07:00Thanks for the insight into what it was like to gr...Thanks for the insight into what it was like to grow up under such restrictive ideologies. The best part about your contract is picturing Amanda and her father reading the language of a lawyer in reference to a date. What a great way to start my Wednesday morning.wolfqueen927https://www.blogger.com/profile/07760603445548489081noreply@blogger.com